2 Cor 11:30 “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.”

May of 1997 is the year my vision changed completely.

My vision has never been good. I was born with strong astigmatism and I was labeled legally blind when I was 25. I was even dismissed from any military duty in Belgium because of my poor vision.

This doesn’t mean that I can’t see anything. It simply means that other than sleeping and close-up work, I can’t do much without my thick glasses! Though my left eye also requires a heavy prescription, it is actually a lot stronger than my right “lazy” eye, through which I can hardly see anything. As a result, my left eye ends up having to do most of the work!

You might say that with a history like this one, I might be used to poor vision! However, that Tuesday in May, my eye troubles went from bad to worse! I had just come back from the bank at lunchtime, and as I entered my classroom, something spider-like in appearance materialized in front of my right eye. And since I can only see things very close up with this eye, now suddenly, all I saw was this “spider”! At first I thought something must have fallen into my eye, and I started rubbing. But it was to no avail. Next, I excused myself and went into the washroom to look in the mirror. I couldn’t see anything that might have gotten into my eye, but my right eye continued to register that there was a “spider” right in front of it! All that afternoon I couldn’t concentrate on my teaching. All I could think about was that spider-like object that, without even asking permission, had lodged itself in my line of vision!

My family doctor couldn’t help me, and I soon found myself in the office of an eye specialist. I couldn’t wait to see him! The only thing that I had found that seemed to “remove” this “spider” was to close my eye; and since I can’t go around all the time with a closed eye, I had bought myself an eye patch that I could wear under my glasses. I looked like a genuine pirate (without his parrot and hat of course!). It was ridiculous and I knew it, but because the spider magically reappeared every time I took it off, I wore it diligently!

Unfortunately, the specialist wasn’t much help either. He DID give a name to my problem, however. He said I had a “floater”!

“A floater! Isn’t that some kind of a buoy?” I asked.

Then he explained: A floater is an unwelcome (you can say that again!) Eye companion that often infiltrates a person’s vision during midlife (Could it be that mid-life crisis’s are but the brain’s response to floaters?), and, joy uncontained, it tends to be much worse in people who are legally blind!

But the eye doctor decided to refer me to a specialist in Toronto, and my waning hope rekindled. Maybe, just maybe the big guys up there would know what to do! Oh! I couldn’t wait to get rid of that bothersome intrusion! I would have done anything to have it disappear from my life!

In the meantime, I searched the Internet about floaters and found the following definition: “One or more spots that appear to drift in front of the eye; caused by a shadow cast on the retina by vitreous debris or separation of the vitreous humour from the retina. They are of little concern and are common in the aging process.” (Thanks to http://www.medhelp.org/glossary2/new/GLS_1967.HTM )

“Of little concern!” I muttered. “Obviously the one who wrote this had never had one! “

When I finally arrived in the office of the Toronto specialist, all of my hopes of ever being free of this thing were dashed: “You will have that floater for life,” he said. “We could perform surgery on your eye, but 90% chances is that you would become completely blind.”

That certainly made MY day! But as there was literally nothing that could be done, I resigned myself to living with it. And today, 7 years later, I am still living with it. I don’t wear my eye patch anymore, however. The spider no longer bothers me in the least. Oh, I still notice it when the light is brighter than usual (This is why you often see me wearing sunglasses!), but what was once a burden to me has become a blessing.

How can this be? Very simple. My floater reminds me of how dependent I am on God. It reminds me of my weaknesses, and how often my sins overshadow my vision of God. It reminds me of the many times I haven’t looked at wholesome things, and of the times I have allowed lust and greed to interfere with my walk with God. It reminds me that whenever I rely on “me”, that’s when I fall flat on my face, burdened with unshakable sin that will pursue me for the rest of my life. Without God, I am like a huge floater to others, a burdensome ugliness that tears people down and leads them to discouragement.

In summary? My floater is my constant reminder to rely on God at all times. It encourages me to have a closer walk with Jesus, and because of all this, it has become a blessing to me! Praise to God! “For when I am weak, I am strong!” (See 2 Cor 12:10)

Are you letting your weaknesses be a burden to you?

Rob Chaffart