I would say that one of the more frustrating results of my dementia that my wife no longer understands plain English or French, and she speaks gibberish… And they say I’m the one with the problem!

One of the first signs of the upcoming monster was that my wife would ask me what “thing” meant… I didn’t say “thing”, I clearly said what it was I needed!

Okay, I did notice it was hard to remember words sometimes, but then one day, my speech became very fluent! Whatever I wanted to say just flowed from my mouth! I was so excited! I didn’t get why my wife always looked so puzzled. Why would she say things like, “I’m not sure what ‘dada’ means. Can you show me?” What was wrong with her communication? I knew exactly what I was saying. Why couldn’t she understand?

I initially used gestures to augment my wife’s understanding. As time went on, however, her skills deteriorated. My hand was moving up and down my shirt, or back and forth along my waistline, why couldn’t she understand that this meant “telephone” or “sweater” or “video” or “prayers”?

The really frustrating thing to me was that sometimes she did understand. Why did my gestures work part of the time but not all of the time!

Besides her inability to understand me, there was another phenomenon at work. My wife and kids … along with every other human being in my little world … suddenly no longer spoke English or French! I’m not sure what they were speaking, but it sure sounded like a very foreign language to me! Sometimes, however, my wife would say something in this gibberish language, and then she would repeat it in clear French or English. Why couldn’t she have just said it right the first time?

She would sometimes use gestures with her jargon; but as time went on, she started gesturing “behind my back”, or with only a tiny portion of her hand, and the other part of her hand was non-existent! I’m not sure how she managed that … But her explanation of me having a problem with my visual field was totally ludicrous ….

And so it went. She continued to speak more and more jargon, her ability to understand my very clear words and gestures became nearly non-existent, and she started using only half her hand to gesture. Why would she treat me this way? She is, after all, a retired Speech Therapist! Didn’t she understand the importance of communication???

And please tell me why she put me in speech therapy?

It all reminds me of our communication with God. Sometimes we hear Him clearly, as if He were standing right by us speaking directly into our ear. Sometimes we hear Him in His love letters to us, the Bible. And sometimes it is evident that He hears us clearly! He answers our questions, takes care of our concerns, etc.

Other times, however, it seems that God needs speech therapy! He doesn’t speak in ways that we can understand, and sometimes He doesn’t speak at all; and when we speak to Him, well it’s like He’s not there or doesn’t care!

As I think about this, I am reminded of a Bible text from Isaiah: “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1-2 NIV)

Wait. Maybe my problems communicating with God aren’t initiating from Him at all! It is my sin that separates me from Him and makes it so He can’t hear me!

But God has cleansed me of all my sins! “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NIV). I have confessed my sin, therefore I am pure before Him! How, then, can my sin separate me from Him?

Although accepting Jesus’ blood sacrifice forgives all of our sin, including what we will continue to commit: “…And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary” (Hebrews 0:17-18 NIV), we do continue to sin on a daily basis. Although our salvation may not be at stake, our ability to communicate with God is!

Think about it: When our minds are clouded with worry, we can’t hear His voice! When we are filled with unforgiveness, God seems far away! When we have willfully committed a sin, our consciences are zinging; but suddenly it’s like our prayers are hitting the ceiling! When we are filled with pride, it seems like we might as well not be praying at all!

I could go on with other examples, but you get the point. It is said that no matter how bad it seems, it is always us who is wrong, not God!

May I suggest that those moments when you just can’t hear God’s voice, those times when you are sure your prayers are hitting the ceiling, these are times to search your own life. Do you have worries? Give them to Jesus! Are you angry? Forgive! Have you knowingly committed sin? Confess it and repent! Humble yourselves before God that He may hear you and be able to once again communicate with you (See 2 Chron. 7:14)!

Hum … I wonder if my wife’s communication problems may be initiating from me as well …

Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Founder, Answers2Prayer Ministries