When I left home to attend college overseas, all I could think about was how exciting it was to go to a new country. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my mother’s world would change dramatically. Being the youngest of two, my departure left my mother with nothing but emptiness and memories.

My weekly phone calls were received with much anticipation, as were the cassette tapes I would send every week. My mom lived for those special moments, but nothing was more welcomed by her then when I came back home for a visit.

When my mother’s world was invaded by Alzheimer’s, my own little world changed forever. Although I call her daily, our conversations over the phone are usually brief and filled with evidence of her anxiety. Most days, I am still a reality to her, but I will never be as much of a reality to her as I was in the past.

My mother’s biggest desire in life used to be this: All I want is more of you! She literally lived for her kids, and there was nothing she liked more than for us to share our burdens with her. Now all of this love has been taken away to be replaced by an enemy that only brings anxiety and confusion.

It’s ironic and sad that many parents can’t wait for their kids to leave home. Some even count the days. But once gone, emptiness invades the home, and parents are suddenly faced with an insatiable hunger to see more of their kids. How much more does God hunger for our fellowship! But how many of us, instead of building that welcomed intimate relationship, slumber on our pew and wonder what life is all about. Fear is part of our everyday life, and we have come to believe it is completely normal. How far have we strayed?

If we would only take some time to read the love letters that the Lover of our soul has sent to us, we would be aware that our condition is not normal:

“But you walked away from your first love – why? What’s going on with you, anyway? Do you have any idea how far you’ve fallen? A Lucifer fall! Turn back! Recover your dear early love.” (Rev 2:4-5 The Message)

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” (1 John 4:18 NIV)

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Tim 1:7 NKJV)

Consider how much God hungers for us! All He wants is more of us! How will we respond to His desire?

“This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about – not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.” (1 John 4:9-10 The Message)

“That’s how much you mean to me! That’s how much I love you! I’d sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.” (Isa 43:4 The Message)

Interestingly, it’s only when we respond to His love that His love is able to drive away all anxiety!

“So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.” (Isa 43:5 The Message)

What’s your biggest desire in life?

Rob Chaffart