“But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.”

(1 Timothy 5:8 NLT)

We felt as if we were in a parent trap. I suppose her children did as well.

I walked through our wooded subdivision on a lazy, warmer-than-usual February afternoon. As I did, I called one of our shut-ins who had recently fallen and injured her shoulder.

“Once a child, twice a child,” she said as we discussed her changing situation. 

I detected the despondency in her voice.

“I had always heard the saying but never knew what it meant until now,” she continued.

When asked what had happened, she said, “I was making breakfast, turned around to get something, and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor.”

Just like that. As quick as a fall leaf tumbling to the ground. For the next few weeks, someone in her family had to stay with her during the days to help tend to her needs. She hated depending on them but had no choice. I understood how she felt.

My mom and stepdad experienced almost the same scenario. Although they could still do most things for themselves, neither could drive, and they had to depend on us or another family member to take them to doctor appointments, hair appointments, church, and pay bills. They, too, hated the setup but had no control over it. Dementia had settled in and wouldn’t retreat.

Fortunately, my church member’s shoulder healed without surgery. But even then, she had to use her walker because of her bad back and could not go to the places she once did. Although a family member no longer had to stay with her, she was homebound.

I often say to elderly folks in such a situation, “Just be glad you have someone to care for you.”

Over the years, I’ve seen many who had no one—or had no one who would. Instead, I hear, “If my __________ were in that situation, I would put them in a nursing home.

Folks have said that to my wife and me, but God keeps reminding me what Paul said. We should care for our loved ones when possible, even if it inconveniences us. My wife and I are inconvenienced daily, but our loved ones cared for us for many years, and now we are returning the favor.

Don’t let busyness or misplaced priorities keep you from caring for your parents or other family members. God rewards those who tend to those who can no longer tend to themselves. You may feel like you are in a parent trap, but you are free. Father, may I care for and love my loved ones as they love me.

Martin Wiles