There is something weird going on.

Since I’ve been living in long-term care, I get regular visitors. This isn’t what’s weird. All of my fellow residents get visitors. What’s weird is how often they show up and when!

Take for example, my wife. She can show up six times in the same 30 minutes, and then I might not see her again for several hours, sometimes even one or two days. Why can’t she spread her visits out a bit?

My niece and her kids come to visit sometimes as well. Again, they show up about five or six different times in the same 45 minutes, and then I might not see them again for several days. Again, why can’t they spread their visits out a bit?

In fact, the only ones who seem to be consistently there are the staff. Sometimes they tell me my wife or my niece have been in, but I haven’t seen them! Why would they make themselves known to the staff members and not to me? Aren’t I the one they are coming to see?

And then there’s my son. He lives in China. I know this. Yet he keeps showing up. Am I in China now?

The thing that really puzzles me, however, is that sometimes when my family visits me, they look so sad! I can see the tears in their eyes when they hug me.

I know that in their eyes I’ve changed so much. I mean, I need help with literally everything, I never used to be this way, but I totally understand that my wife can no longer care for me at home. I so appreciate the staff who take care of me so faithfully. I know that in the past, I was a bit depressed with all the changes, but in all reality, this is my home now. When I was living with my wife, I knew what a burden I was to her, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make her life better. I had no purpose. Here, there are so many people around me who need to be cheered up! And I’m up for the job. When I see a staff member or another resident who look sad, I am quick to be at their side, handing out hugs and praying over them. They may not realize that’s what I’m doing, but I lay my hands on them, on their shoulders or their heads, and although they might not understand the words that come out of my mouth, God understands! Having dementia finally makes sense to me! I can touch people who otherwise couldn’t be touched! Although I would have never chosen this path for my life, I am not unhappy. The joy of the Lord still flows through me, it’s still my strength.

I wish I could help my family understand this. Then maybe they wouldn’t look so sad… I mean, I understand they miss the person I once was, but to be honest, I have found contentment in the hand that life has dealt me. If only I could get them to understand that our circumstances don’t dictate our happiness. Our true contentment comes, not from what we do or don’t have, not from whether we are “normal” (whatever THAT means!) or not!

Nehemiah once told a grieving people, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10 NIV). And this is my message for everyone who is sad because of my dementia as well. The joy of the Lord is my strength, I want it to be theirs, too.

And what about those of you who are sad for different reasons? The message is the same. It isn’t our circumstances that dictate our joy. When we learn to be content, no matter what life brings our way, that is when the joy of the Lord truly becomes our strength! Whatever you are going through, surrender it to the Lord, then open your eyes to the blessings He has for you in the midst of the circumstances! He will show you your purpose in the trials, He will be your joy. All you have to do is let Him!

Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Founder, Answers2Prayer Ministries