As January, 2011 approached I would tremble wondering where the fees for my students would come from. I had reminded God about it but I seemed not to get anywhere with God on this.

As I was waiting I was telling God something like this; “Father, I must admit that I have not been very faithful in sharing my money with You of late due to pressing needs around me. I cannot therefore expect from You on the basis of how I have faithfully given in Your Name. Yes, I have no qualifying reason as many preach.

Getting no spiritual direction I decided to be wise and get a loan from my welfare association to ease the burden. So on a Friday, I called a dear sister in Christ to bring me the loan application forms when coming for an overnight prayer in my house. The following early morning I was going for another function and so I forgot to ask for the loan application form. However, on Monday I called the sister to remind her that she had forgotten to leave the form in my house on Saturday before leaving.

“I didn’t forget.” She told me. “ I didn’t have a breakthrough to leave it behind since I had a number of questions for God which He didn’t answer. One, you are repaying another loan and adding this will only leave your salary inadequate for your household. Two, even if you take it will not be enough. I thought it prudent that we ask God first on the way forward.”

I replied without giving it a thought, “My sister I don’t have that much faith unless you come and impact some “.

“I will be coming after work we pray together so that God will give direction.”

“Alright.” I replied.

I was full of thanksgiving to God because when she came she brought me a gift voucher which to me was an answered prayer for a simple item I was trusting God for my dependants. I didn’t see her but God since I was fully persuaded that God would somehow meet this sim0ple need. I shared this with her so that we thank God together.

Then she removed the loan application form and placed it on my desk. When we turned to discuss this, my tone changed and confessed. “I don’t faith over this my sister”.

We both laughed as she asked me if the God who met the simple need was unable to meet the fees one and then added, “I am not persuading you. We will just pray and then you go and seek God about it tonight. If He tells you to apply, do it. If He say “don’t” then don’t and wait upon Him”

“Agreed.” I said as we prayed after which I left the form on my desk as we went home.

When I woke up to pray that morning I reminded God about the form but I didn’t get any direction. I struggled that day as I told God that if He didn’t speak I would just use my mind which He gave me and apply since time was crucial. I still got no direction.

At around 3pm that day I just got impressed quite strongly & distinctly on John 1:12 “But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His Name.”

I told God, “God, You know that I believe on the LORD Jesus Christ and I believe this scripture is true. Now, if You are my Father, why should I be struggling like this about this loan application issue which is not even enough? Children of able fathers don’t go through such struggles!……”

After getting the scripture very clear in my mind I told God that I was not going to apply the loan and immediately I wrote an sms to my sister who replied joyfully and confidently, “Good my sister- To God’s glory” One would have thought she was going to give me the money.

I had forgotten how the previous year I had asked for a prayer for a needy student in another fellowship when one brother asked rhetorically, “What is that amount to God?” The confidence he had, one would have thought he was going to provide the money. After he prayed confidently it left me wondering where such confidence comes from. As I went home that day I kept asking God to help my faith. Truly God paid the fees for that student timely.

Now going back to my case, I told God that I had surrendered that issue to Him and it would not bother me again as I qualified to be His son as per John 1:12.

When somebody came knocking my house that evening to pay me a debt I had forgotten of previous three and half years that was enough for the fees, couldn’t be taken at face value. I had to stop everybody from doing anything else for a moment we give thanks to God. Truly it was not about my debt being paid for why now? I called the sister who was used of God to encourage me to trust God and she was as thankful to God as me desiring to know the details of how God had met my need.

Brethren, we are true sons of God not because of our performance in well doing but just for the simple reason that He gave us power to become His children through Jesus Christ as per John 1:12. To do good , we will keep on doing the best we know how but it is not the qualifying ingredient to make us sons of God because whatever we do, we do out of love of God our Father and not to earn anything from our Father. We are not servants but sons!

May God help us, to involve Him in everything we desire listening for His voice so that our relationship with Him is strengthened through answered prayers. We can choose to do everything the intelligent worldly way but our relationship as sons of God will be remain undeveloped. This is the whole business of being a believer-developing a deep relationship with God. It is not about acquiring this and that independently as per worldly standards. “And in that day you shall ask Me nothing. Verily , verily , I say to you , whatsoever you shall ask the Father in my Name, He will give it you.” John 16:23

Margaret margieephtfcp@yahoo.com