I Wish I Had Been a Drug Dealer

by | May 26, 2002 | Experiencing God, Forgiveness, Grace

Shortly after I was saved, my wife and I were discussing the woman who brought the alabaster flask of fragrant oil to the Pharisee’s house and washed Jesus’ feet with tears and anointed His feet with oil. As the woman did this, the Pharisee looked at her with contempt and thought that if Jesus were truly a prophet, He would not allow this harlot to do this. Jesus looked at Simon the Pharisee and said, “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?” Simon answered by saying the one who was forgiven of the five hundred denarii would love more since he was forgiven of the most. Jesus responded, saying that Simon had judged rightly!

I told my wife, “Sometimes I wish I had been a drug dealer, a thief, or some other kind of wicked criminal before I met Jesus; then I would love Him more because I was forgiven more. I want to love Him as much as possible!” As we further discussed this, the Lord said to me, “John, you don’t understand what I was saying. I was dealing with the attitude of Simon’s heart. He saw this woman as one type of sinner and himself as another, much better person, only requiring a little forgiveness. I said, `Whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all’ (James 2:10-11). In My eyes the person who tells only one lie all their life is the same as the worst prisoner! The destination of both is the same if they are not saved!”

I felt a release of life as I realized I could love Him as much as anyone else, because I had been under the same judgment as the worst criminal on death row!

Bevere, John. The Voice of one Crying. Apopka: Messenger Press, 1993, p. 81-82.


I Wish I Had Been a Drug Dealer