My advanced dementia progressed to the point that in August of 2024, my wife could no longer meet my needs at home, and I transitioned into the “behavioural” unit of a local nursing home. Everyone on my unit had advanced dementia, and everyone had the same behaviours I did. Fortunately for us the staff knew exactly what to do so that we resided in peace and harmony.

It didn’t take long for me to become a unit “favorite”. To be honest, I have no idea how I advanced to this high level of esteem; but after my negative behaviours were dealt with, my dementia left me with the same loving, caring heart that God had blessed me with in my younger days. Of course, I couldn’t reach out to them like I used to, but I could still hand out hugs. I would sense someone’s sadness or anxiety, and I would go over and give them a hug!

Most of my hugs were readily received. True, there were a few who didn’t seem to appreciate them, but I just tried harder. The staff must have been jealous, for often when I would be half-way over to hand out a hug, one of them would run over and insist that I hug them instead! Unfortunately that would distract me, and I would forget who it was I was wanting to hug. But it was okay, because I was still showing love and making somebody’s day!

Then that horrible day arrived. Two of my favorite people showed up early in the morning, my wife and my niece, and took me away. They put me on a big airplane and flew me four hours to the west. We then drove another 30 minutes to a building. We rode the elevator up to the third floor, pushed a bunch of buttons on a key pad, and voila! The door opened. 

My wife and my niece gushed about what a wonderful place it was, with long hallways for me to walk up and down, beautiful furniture, delicious food…

Somehow I wasn’t as excited as everyone else. Sure it was a lovely place, but everything was strange to me. I wanted to go back to my old place. It wasn’t long, however, before I began to notice other people who seemed stressed, anxious, or sad. Wait! Now I had lots of new people to cheer up!

I wish I could tell you that they all appreciated my hugs. Unfortunately most of them got mad and started yelling at me. Obviously they really needed cheering up, so I doggedly tried to hand out even more hugs.

You can imagine the vicious cycle that this created, and it wasn’t long before I was being offered a spoonful of chocolate pudding, and after a few minutes, I began to get sleepy.

As the days progressed, the pattern continued. I would head over to give someone a loving hug, and a staff member would run over with a spoonful of chocolate pudding, and moments later, I’d be sleeping on the couch. There must have been something powerful in that chocolate pudding!

I really hope that the staff in my new home learn that I only want to cheer people up. I hope they will become jealous, just like in the other home, and run up to “steal” my hugs from someone else. And even though I love chocolate pudding, I truly hope they will stop giving it to me every time I want to hand out a hug …

What kind of a world has this become where acts of love and tenderness are rejected?

God knows what rejection feels like. He know how so many of us are in such desperate states. What we truly need is a heavenly “hug”, and God is right there, ever wanting to hand them out. The thing is, these touches of God are so often rejected, and unlike me, God respects our choices. He created us, after all, with the power of choice, because He wanted our affection towards Him to be from our hearts. As a result, so often when He reaches out His loving arms, the very ones who need Him the most turn away…

No, this wasn’t how it was meant to be from the beginning. God created a world where we not only accepted the acts of love from one another, but even more importantly we accepted God’s acts of love towards us. And when this changed, He made a way for us. He sent Jesus to the cross, the ultimate act of love. Unfortunately we continue to reject that love as well… Perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised that my fellow residents don’t want my hugs!

Perhaps with prayer and loving kindness, we can begin to win over this loveless world. After all, when Jesus told us to love one another, He didn’t say our love would always be received. Nonetheless, He tells us, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (NIV)

What about it, friends? Will you show love, even when it is blatantly rejected? I will! Even if I risk getting another spoonful of chocolate pudding that makes me sleepy…

Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Founder, Answers2Prayer Ministries