A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

(Proverbs 15:1 NIV)

After a married couple had a heated argument, they stopped talking to each other for days. On the third day, the husband casually asked where one of his shirts was. His wife, surprised to hear him speak, said, “Oh, so now you’re talking to me.”

Her husband looked puzzled.  “What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you noticed I haven’t spoken to you for three days?”

He replied, “No… I just thought we were getting along.”

This story highlights something about how we often handle conflict. We may not lash out with harsh words, but silence can be just as damaging.  Sometimes we convince ourselves that silence feels safer. We withdraw, keep our distance, or wait for the other person to make the first move. Meanwhile, the gap widens and misunderstandings grow.

Proverbs reminds us that “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV). Notice that gentleness isn’t silent. It speaks. In many conflicts, the issue isn’t a lack of concern but a lack of communication. We assume others know what we’re feeling. We expect them to notice our silence, interpret our frustration, or read our minds. And when they don’t, our frustration deepens.

Think about how many conflicts in your life might have been resolved with a single gentle conversation. How often could a misunderstanding be resolved simply by speaking in kindness rather than stewing in silence?  The husband in the story honestly didn’t know anything was wrong. That happens more than we realize. People can’t respond to feelings we never express.

Maybe there’s someone in your life whom you’ve quietly distanced yourself from. Maybe tension hangs in the air, but no one has taken the first step. The wisdom of Proverbs invites you to consider a different path. Take a step toward someone you’ve withdrawn from. Begin a conversation.  Offer a kind word. Clear up a misunderstanding.

Your gentle answer may be the very thing that turns away some lingering wrath and opens the door to reconciliation.

Prayer: Father, give me the courage to speak with grace and the wisdom to listen with patience. Help me to choose gentle words instead of silent distance. Restore what is strained, heal what is hurt, and guide me toward peace with others.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Alan Smith
Reprinted with permission from Alan Smith’s Thought For the Day