When I was young, I thought my dad didn’t care about me.

Why would I think such a thing?

Because he never did anything with me, and he spent most of his time closed up in his office upstairs.

It wasn’t until he passed away that stories began trickling down to me that made me realize what I had always believed about my dad was just … not … true!

At one point I found a picture of my dad and a very young version of my older brother beside a boat in the Ostend harbor in Belgium. When I asked my mom about it, her answer surprised me. She acknowledged that my dad had a boat! I had never known that! It was with disgust in her voice that she told me he had wanted to take his boys out boating, but she had intervened! It was just too dangerous!

Other similar stories surfaced after that, and the pattern became clear: My dad hadn’t spent time with me because the only ways he knew to spend time with his kids were considered too dangerous by my mother. As a result, he simply closed himself away in the office so as to not be in danger of hurting his kids with his proposed activities.

This all sounds very negative against my mother; but it really wasn’t. She was the most loving, caring mother anyone could imagine. She saw it as her God-given responsibility to keep her kids safe. They were, after all, a gift of God, and anything less would have have been negligence. Some might say she was overprotective, and perhaps she was. Nonetheless, it was all done in love and in a fierce sense of responsibility to my brother and I.

The truth of the matter was, both my parents loved me beyond comprehension; but my dad couldn’t find any ways to show it that weren’t considered too dangerous by my mom! They simply could find no common ground!

Learning a few of these stories helped to heal the hurt I had always carried in my heart. My biggest regret is that I didn’t learn these things before he passed away!

Father’s Day is just two days away, and even though I probably didn’t really celebrate my dad in life to the level that he deserved, I spend time every Father’s Day basking in the fact that my dad loved me. He loved me enough to respect my mother’s wishes. He loved me enough to want me to be safe, even when he didn’t understand the danger. He loved me enough to want to keep peace in the home I was growing up in! And although he is now in Heaven, ever Father’s Day I ask Jesus to whisper, “Happy Father’s Day to a dad who loved me more than I could ever understand!” in my dad’s ear.

This all makes me think about God.

You see, God is our ultimate Father; yet there are so many times when we question His love for us! Maybe He didn’t answer a prayer. Perhaps we can’t always feel His presence or hear His voice. Perhaps He didn’t let us do something that we really wanted to do. However, just like my earthly dad’s silence didn’t mean He isn’t interested in us. This also doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love us. And most assuredly, it doesn’t mean that He bows to the wishes of our moms, or any other human source! Could it be that in those moments of apparent silence, He is expressing the ultimate love for us?

Take, for example, the prayer He hasn’t yet answered. Could it be because in His ultimate wisdom, He knows that waiting a bit before responding will benefit us in the long run? “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Eccl. 3:11a NIV). My mind goes to the story of Lazarus. Even though Jesus knew Lazarus was dying, He waited four days to journey back to Bethany! He must have known Lazarus would die before He even arrived! Yet it was for the greater good! Jesus healed people all the time, but He hadn’t done a lot of raising the dead! And what an impact that miracle had (See John 11)!

And what about the fact that we can’t feel His presence or hear His voice. Could it be because there is something in our lives that is blocking His ability to communicate with us? Something like … sin? “Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1-2 NIV).

Or perhaps it is us who is pushing God away! Remember the story of the prodigal son? His dad wasn’t ignoring him! It was the son who chose to leave! His dad waited every day for him to return (See Luke 15:11-31)! And it is the same with God! He doesn’t force Himself on us! He wants us to chose to follow Him, and He seeks us: “If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?” (Matthew 18:12 NIV).

Just like I couldn’t assume my dad didn’t love me because he never did anything with me, we can’t just assume that God doesn’t love us! If He is feeling absent, seek Him where He can be found, for He says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” (Revelation 3:20 NIV).

This Father’s Day, take some time to celebrate your earthly dad. Maybe you didn’t have the best example of an earthly dad; but understand that perhaps you see it this way because you aren’t privy to all the facts. In the same way, spend some time honouring your Heavenly Father as well! And if you think He doesn’t love you, remember that God never pushes us away! When there is a problem with God, it is always us and not Him, for His love for us is perfect!

Happy Father’s Day!

Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries