“One day he asked the woman, ‘Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?’” (Genesis 3:1 NLT)

I shared my dilemma with her . . . with him.

The name is not essential. He could be anyone . . . she could be everyone, but the stories are similar. “You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.” He said. She said. So, I took them into my confidence and told them the story. Perhaps about a financial struggle I was dealing with. Or a personal matter I needed advice about. Maybe an emotional battle I wanted only a few to know about. 

Later, I would run into an everyman . . . or everywoman . . . and hear, “I understand you . . .” I ask where they heard it. “**** told me.” And it probably wasn’t the person I had shared it with, but someone they had shared it with who, in turn, felt the need to share it with someone else.

Eve discovered the consequences of talking to the wrong person—and learned that establishing a relationship with the right person is crucial. She and Adam spent each evening in the garden talking with God. One day, the wrong person showed up and struck up a conversation with Eve, attempting to get her to question God’s love for her and Adam. Eve listened, ate the forbidden fruit, and the rest is history.

I grew up in an environment where I was encouraged to be open. Sharing my troubles with others made those difficulties easier to handle. After all, didn’t psychologists say getting things out in the open was healthier? 

But I also learned not everyone will keep in confidence what I tell them in confidence. Perhaps they aren’t mean-spirited but just love to talk. But some are conniving and love to gossip, stir the pot, and create drama. 

Paul wrote, “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for ‘bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT).

We can be friendly to everyone but should carefully choose the friends we take into our confidence with personal matters. Ensure they can hold our confidence and are spiritually mature enough to give good advice. Not everyone has to know everything . . . nor should they. Talking to the wrong person can also bring unwanted trouble if they are the type who’d love to lead us down the wrong spiritual paths. 

We can’t choose our families, but we can choose what we tell them—and we can choose our friends. Choose the ones who have your best interests in mind. 

What are some traits you want in good friends?

Prayer: Father, give me the wisdom to know when and with whom to share my struggles. 

Martin Wiles