One of the things that made it extremely hard for me as my dementia progressed was my total lack of purpose in life. I mean, I was still exchanging air. God hadn’t yet called me home. That meant my life still had purpose. For the life of me, however, I couldn’t figure out what it was!

Oh, I had little revelations from time to time. A couple of years ago, I discovered that I could still pray for people, and that was all the purpose anybody could ever want. My wife would give me a list of prayer requests in big print, and I would faithfully pray for them twice a day. As time went on, my vision, along with my reading comprehension, became worse, and I couldn’t read the requests. I knew, however, that God knew what they said, and my prayers, even if I didn’t specifically know what I was praying about, would be interpreted into the best prayers possible by the Holy Spirit, for hasn’t He promised, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” (Romans 8:26 NIV)

I also discovered during this time that it was fun to try and help my wife with the dishes and garbage and other chores that I could do for her.

As time went on, however, I lost the ability to even know why my wife was giving me that book that I couldn’t read. I also lost the ability to know how to do dishes, etc. My purpose was completely … gone! Especially when it came time for me to transition to a nursing home. I mean, now instead of helping people, I was totally reliant on others for everything!

I was, however, forgetting one important thing: Sometimes our purpose in life is to give purpose to other people’s lives! Sure I needed care, but as I saw the look of joy in the eyes of some of my personal support workers, I realized that they found their purpose in caring for … me!

That did give me an element of comfort. Nonetheless, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to have more than just a passive purpose. I needed an active purpose! And in my own way, unbeknownst to anyone, I set out to find that purpose. And I succeeded. I had only been in care for three months when I began to develop the reputation for being the one who loved to give out hugs. Even though my mind couldn’t process any of it, God’s Spirit was — and is! — still alive within me, helping me to sense when someone needed a hug. I hugged the nurses, the personal support workers, and especially my fellow residents. They all look so sad most of the time! Especially this one poor lady. She thinks she has appointments and things she has to do outside of the residence every day, but she can never find the door, and the staff never show it to her. I feel very bad for her, because I, myself, often feel the need to get out. So I give her hugs.

With my initial diagnosis, I clung to Jesus. He was my strength. I clung to prayer. I clung to worship music. I clung to church. Unfortunately my cognitive abilities decreased to the point that I no longer knew who Jesus was. I didn’t recognize worship music, and church drove me crazy. I didn’t even understand why my wife would put her hands on me and say words with her eyes closed. Nonetheless, God was always inside of me, and He still is today. Just yesterday, my friend with all the appointments was desperate to find the stairs so that she could go downstairs and get to a doctor’s appointment. It didn’t seem to matter to her that we were on the ground floor already, and she was becoming quite distressed. With my wife as witness, I reached out and put my hands on her shoulders, and I started to pray. No one could understand my words, of course, as my speech is no longer clear. Maybe I was praying in tongues! I don’t really know. I was functioning on instinct alone. Nonetheless, my friend seemed calmer after I was done.

Yes, I’ve found my purpose: To make a difference in the lives of those who I live with, those who care for all of us. And also to be a vessel for God’s Spirit to pour out on those around me who are hurting!

We must remember that we are ALL chosen vessels, to be used by God: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV). We are chosen for special reasons: “This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel.” (Acts 9:15 NIV). The Apostle Paul writes to Timothy the following: “Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” (2 Timothy 2:21 NIV).

When we accept Jesus into our hearts, that cleansing process begins. God’s Spirit moves in, and even dementia can’t move Him out. As a result, no matter where we find ourselves or how low our cognitive (or other abilities) dip, we are always instruments in God’s hands, and in the precise moment, He will use us!

Basically the take away is this: If God’s Spirit resides in you, you still have purpose! And at just the right time, in the right situation, that purpose will surface because it isn’t driven by us, but by God Himself! Our job is simply to remain open to His Spirit!

Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Founder, Answers2Prayer Ministries