“The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms. And he thrust out the enemy before you and said, ‘Destroy.’”
(Deuteronomy 33:27 NIV)
Imagine being in the situation where something very, very scary that comes to you, threatens you, orders you around … And everyone around you says it isn’t real…
As my cognition has continued to slip over time, a new phenomenon has arisen. I am continually visited by people. They talk to me, they interact with me, and I’m apparently the only one who sees them!
My wife initially drove me crazy by insisting that they weren’t real, that they were hallucinations. We would have long arguments about this. I know it was all coming from a good place in her heart, because she saw I was bothered by these people, and she wanted me to be free from them. And maybe they aren’t real to her, but they certainly are real to me!
After a while, she started attending a caregiver support group where she learned this was a normal part of cognitive decline with dementia, and after this she stopped arguing with me about it. Instead she would laugh and remind me that the people I saw and heard were very, very “shy”… They always disappeared when she came around! I was happy enough that she wasn’t arguing with me anymore, but it didn’t change the facts.
These people actually did stop coming around for a few months. I know my wife was happy about this; but not nearly as happy as I was! But then they returned… And this time they became very scary and demanding, making me very afraid to do anything other than what they said.
This put a bit of tension in the home as well, especially the time that they told me in no uncertain terms that I couldn’t leave the house, but my wife was leaving for an appointment and said I couldn’t stay by myself. I wanted to do as she said, but they were so demanding! I had no choice but to refuse, and it hurt me terribly when she had to cancel the appointment…
I could tell my wife was also upset by the re-emergence of these people who were so shy that they never came out when she was around; but I don’t think she really understood how upset it all made me. They most often came out in the late afternoon/early evening, and I began dreading these times of day. Especially since my wife often left the house to take the dog for a walk in the evenings!
Then one day, she sensed my fear. Please understand that the dementia has stolen my ability to express myself or even understand when someone speaks to me. I had been trying to help her understand that they were back, but my feeble attempts at communicating only left us both frustrated and increased her confusion. But that day God intervened. She sensed my fear coming over me, and she kept asking me if I was okay. God was good, and between the few clear words that He helped me say, and the spirit of understanding that He gave my wife, she finally began to understand: I was living in total fear that these people would return!
That made me feel better right there; but when she gently began to remind me that God is bigger than these visitors, that the mighty blood of Jesus was more powerful than they were, I began, for the first time in a long time, to feel hope. I was overjoyed when she offered to pray against these visitors; and so we proceeded to pray together, claiming the merits of Jesus’ blood over our house, praying a hedge of protection around me and the room and our home. It was the first time I felt peace in days! Jesus would protect me from these visitors!
My wife learned something important that day. She learned that just because she doesn’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t real. She became a lot more empathetic towards me after that. I also learned something important. No matter what I was experiencing, my God is bigger! After all, “…the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials…” (1 Peter 2:9 NIV)
What are you going through right now? Don’t worry if others don’t understand because God understands; and no matter what it is, He is bigger! Turn the situation over to prayer. Plead the merits of Jesus’ blood over the situation and then believe that God is taking care of it! You’ll find so much peace when you do! Oh, and the next time someone is upset about something that seems pretty insignificant to you, and you don’t understand why they are so upset, remember this story! Just because YOU aren’t experiencing the horror doesn’t mean THEY aren’t! Be empathetic towards them, and pray for God to straighten things out!
Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Founder, Answers2Prayer ministries.