The Way You Say It

by | May 28, 2001 | Words

Walking into a noisy classroom, the teacher slapped her hand on the desk and ordered sharply, “I DEMAND pandemonium!” The class quieted down immediately. “It isn’t what you demand,” she later explained, “but the way you demand it.”

It isn’t always what you say, but the way you say it. Try saying, “I love you,” with a scowl!

An international tourist came upon a group of people listening to an orator in the central square of a small European town. The speaker shouted from a makeshift podium. At one point, his arms waved about wildly, his stern face turned red and the veins in his neck were bulging.

Since he could not speak the language, the now curious tourist asked a man next to him what the speaker was ranting about. The man pointed to a church spire in the distance and said, “See that church steeple? The fellow who is speaking in the square is the pastor of that church. Right now he is preaching about the love of God!”

It isn’t always what you say, but the way you say it. One marriage counselor sometimes asks couples who have difficulty communicating to forget words and take 20 minutes and simply look into each other’s face and be silent together. They may see what they have missed: hurting eyes, longing hearts, unfulfilled dreams, unmet needs, or a yearning to love and be loved. They learn that deep communication is more than words.

Who needs to hear what is in your heart? HOW you share it will be as important as the words you use.

Steve Goodier Life Support


The Way You Say It