It had been just an average day at work. Not the best of days but not the worst either, or so I thought. My husband and I closed our shop and left sharply at 5pm.

I would soon realize that this had indeed become the worst day of our lives.

Our 16 year old daughter was at home. She rode the school bus and usually she would give me a call around 4pm to let me know she had made it home safely. Sometimes though, she and a friend would visit in the yard, or she might play with her dog instead of going inside immediately, and forget to call. So when I did not receive her usual call and she did not answer mine, I was not overly concerned. But for some reason, I had a strange feeling inside.

As we entered the front door of our home I noticed her books were not on the table where she always put them and I could see her feet in the doorway where she was lying on the floor. As we rushed to her room we found the horrible truth that changed our lives forever.

Through the years I replayed that day over and over in my mind. I lived in guilt because I did not see her depression and was unable to help. In my thoughts and dreams, I would change the events before that tragic day. We would have long talks about her problems. Then we would work them out and everything would be ok.

Ten years later, life was better but those thoughts still haunted me. I was working with a marketing company and met another lady who worked in the same organization. Since we lived near each other, we planned a big event to bring new customers out to purchase our products.

Two days before the big event, I received a call from my new friend. I didn’t know her well but I knew something was wrong. I could hear many emotions in her voice — sorrow, desperation and remorse. She told me how sorry she was that she would not be able to help complete our project. Normally I would have just said “that’s OK” and got off of the phone. But instead I continued talking, purposely keeping her on the line. She had said she could not make the event because she would be somewhere else. So, I asked. “Where are you going?”

She said, “I am going somewhere where no one will have to worry about me again.”

With a little prodding she told me of other burdens that seemed too great for her to continue living. So, I asked if she had children and she answered, “No.” I asked her if her parents were alive and she said her mother was still living and that she had a sister and her mother would be ok.

Then, I told her how wrong she was.

I told her I knew how much her mother would suffer because I had lost a child and I know it’s the worst kind of pain a parent can ever feel. Children just don’t see the bond that a parent feels for them. You give them life, they are an extension of your own life, and you feel responsible to them as long as you live. You never expect to see your children die before you.

I also told her that no matter what she was facing, it would pass and life would get better with time. But, if she died, her mother would wake up every day for the rest of her life and know that she would never see her child again.

Then I asked, “Can you really do that to your mother?”

Quietly she answered, “No.” I noticed a change in her voice. I did not hear those emotions any more. She promised that she would not do anything that would cause someone else pain.

Knowing she would be all right, I let her get off the phone. Then I sat quietly for a long time taking in what had just happened. God had arranged for our paths to cross. We both needed something from each other. My friend needed someone to show her that things could be worse than what she was experiencing, and I needed to give someone what I could not give my child — a reason to live.

Our marketing event was a big failure but it didn’t matter.

I felt better that weekend than I had felt in many years.

God gives us blessings when we least expect them.

Mary Conner mfconner@suddenlink.net