Here are 12 simple steps you can use to walk through the process
of forgiving someone who hurt you in the past.
1 Ask the Lord to reveal the names of the persons who offended
you and the specific wrongs you suffered.
2 Face the hurt and the hate. If you are going to forgive from
your heart, you must let God search the depths of your heart.
3 Acknowledge the significance of the cross. It is the cross of
Christ that makes forgiveness legally and morally right.
4 Decide that you will not retaliate by using the information
about the offender’s sin against them (Luke 6:27-34).
5 Decide to forgive. Forgiveness is a conscious choice to let
the other person off the hook and free yourself from the
6 Take your list of names to God and pray the following: “I
forgive ___(name)___ for ___(specifically identify every
7 Destroy the list. You are now free. Do not tell the offenders
what you have done. Your forgiveness is between you and God
unless the offenders have asked you for forgiveness.
8 Do not expect that your decision to forgive will result in
major changes in the other persons. Instead, pray for them
9 Try to understand the people you have forgiven. They are
10Freedom is a result of forgiveness in you. In time you will
be able to think about the people who offended you without
feeling hurt or anger.
11Thank God for the lessons you have learned and the maturity
you have gained.
12When appropriate, accept your part of the blame for the
offenses you suffered. Confess your failure to God and to
others (1 John 1:9) and realize that if someone has something
against you, you must go to that person (Matthew 5:23-26).
Dr. Anderson, Freedom in Christ and Harvest House Publishers www.ficm.org