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The Bible amazes me. Not only is it a Book of God's love and a guide for how to be accepted by Him and to live for Him, but within its ancient pages lie the solutions to all of our needs and the wisdom for how to face all of our situations.
Take, for example, the need to correct someone. We have all been the recipients of correction, and we all know what it feels like to be corrected in the way the world endorses. We know how it makes us feel worthless and inadequate, ready to quit and ready to convince ourselves that we truly cannot do anything right. Yet the Bible shows us how to correct someone without leaving behind all of those scars...
There are multiple examples of this throughout Scripture. Examples of preventative guidance, examples of love and mercy and grace when we screw up, examples of God reaching out again and again to His wayward people. Perhaps, however, the example that comes to us from the first few verses of the tiny book of Philemon are the most distinct…
If you have read this tiny book recently, you will know that its purpose is to convince Philemon, a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, to take back his slave, Onesimus, who had deserted him. Now the accepted way to deal with this grave evil was to send out slave-hunters. Advertisements would be posted with precise descriptions of the escaped slaves, and rewards would be offered. If caught, the fugitive would be punished. If the slave owner had a kind heart, the slave would only be whipped. Others with not so kind owners would be burnt with iron or even killed. Paul's purpose in writing this letter was to ask Philemon to be kind to Onesimus and to take him back without punishment: "So if you consider me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome me." (Phil. 1:17 NLT).
The first few verses of this 1-chapter book don't appear to even be focused on this purpose, however. Rather, Paul spends the first few verses greeting and then commending his friend, Philemon, for all he has done for the Lord: "I always thank my God when I pray for you, Philemon, because I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God’s people. And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ. Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people." (Phil. 1:4-7 NLT).
Paul starts out by telling Philemon how grateful he is for his service to the Lord: "I always thank my God when I pray for you..."
He then goes on to commend him for his faith: "... I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God’s people."
He acknowledges Philemon's generosity: "...I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith ..."
He then goes on to comment Philemon for his head and heart knowledge: "... as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ."
He then emphasizes the love and kindness that Philemon shows on a regular basis: "Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people."
All of this before he even introduces the topic of this letter!
Is Paul trying to butter him up?
I don't think so. Paul is simply beginning his reprimand as we all should: By contemplating and outlining all the good things in the person that is to be corrected! After all, our correction is for only one part of their lives. If we overlook the good in them, we are giving the message that the good doesn't account for anything. It gives the message that the person to be corrected is all bad! By beginning with the good, we preserve the dignity of the person we are correcting!
An old song says, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". A line from an old movie, perhaps, but how well it illustrates the principle Paul is using here in his attempts to correct and influence the believer, Philemon! How we could all benefit from following this outline!
I would suggest that the next time you need to correct someone, try Paul's recipe. Administer that “spoonful of sugar”. Spend some time pointing out their good points first! When you do, you will have much better outcomes!
But this is only the beginning... Join us next Saturday for "How to Give Correction, Part 2"!
In His love,
Lyn
Lynona Gordon Chaffart
Author, Moderator, Associate Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries
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