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I would consider myself a generous person! I give of my time, my talents, my resources, often resulting in increased stress and definitely involving sacrifice.
Wait! Doesn't that sound like an arrogant statement! And I feel compelled right here to insert a warning: Anytime any of us start thinking like this, we can prepare ourselves to be proven otherwise!
Nonetheless, if someone were to ask me, in a moment of self-reflection, if I was a generous person, I have to admit that the above thoughts would filter through my head... I do give, it does often result in sacrifice, and, sadly, it also results in increased stress... I might not admit this out loud, but those would be my thoughts.
And as such, God has set out to prove otherwise!
As I sat down for my worship on the morning this was written, I was contemplating just how I would reach out to a neighbour who recently lost his wife and his mom and who is the only one there to hold his dad together. You see, it was tomato season, and his garden, along with his dad's, were overflowing with ripe fruit. In past years his mom would have converted those tomatoes into sauce. Well, I would offer to do the same thing!
Good idea, right? It would involve my time and talents, and yes, it would result in sacrifice. A definite gift to the Lord...
"Wait," you must be thinking, "She's kinda full of herself, isn't she?"
And that must have been what God was thinking too, for it wasn't long before He began to speak to me in that still, small voice: "How do you know that's what your neighbour needs?"
My guard was instantly raised. Whenever God starts asking me these kinds of questions, He is aiming to teach me something, and it usually involves taking a shot at issues such as pride and control... And so I kind of mumbled the response to the question: "Well his tomato vines are loaded and there isn't anyone to can them! I'd be taking care of a need!"
That's when God began to flood my mind with all the times I've reached out to help people. I thought at first He was commending me; but I soon would realize otherwise... You see, each time I reach out to help someone, it is my idea. I decide when I can help, what I can do and how their need can be met; and every time the tables are turned -- every time someone comes to me with a need that I can help them with, I panic, I stress out, I don't see how I can fit it in around my very important schedule, etc...
So yes, I may be generous, but it's all on my terms!
But isn't this in keeping with with the Bible teaches about giving? "Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." (2 Cor. 9:7 ESV). I decide what is in my heart to give, and then I do so, without reluctance or without being under compulsion! Isn't that the kind of giving God loves?
And I was quick to quote God's Word back to Him...
Never a good idea. You never use someone's words against them. You will simply never win! Especially if that Someone is God...
His response? "for they all contributed to the offering from their surplus; but she, from her poverty, put in all that she had to live on.” (Luke 21:4 NASB).
Wait. What does THAT have to do with my making pasta sauce for my neighbour?
Just this: Jesus is commending the widow for sacrificial giving. When I dictate all the terms about helping others, it isn't exactly a sacrifice, is it? Of course not! The reason I dictate all the terms is so that it isn't a sacrifice! I dictate the timing to fit my schedule. I dictate what makes up the gift because it is something I don't mind doing, etc!
And what about this one? "And if I give away all my possessions to charity, and if I surrender my body so that I may glory, but do not have love, it does me no good." (1 Cor. 13:3 NASB)
My tendency to dictate all the terms of my giving does not in any way reflect love. And we are told "It does me no good."
And this one? "And God is able to make all grace overflow to you, so that, always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed...Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness..." (2 Cor. 9:9,11 NASB)
In insisting on being in control of what and how and how much that I give, I am not showing my faith in the God who has promised that I will have "...all sufficiency in everything...an abundance for every good deed", and I am certainly not trusting God to, "supply and multiply my seed in sowing..."!
In other words, when I dictate all the terms in a gift, I am asserting my control over the situation. Who was I to know what a person truly needs? Besides, being insistent about dictating the terms of the gifts looks very little like surrender! It doesn't show love. It is a selfish gift. And neither does it look like faith in God to provide for my own needs.
So what should I do?
I'm going to contact my neighbour and ask him what I can do to help. I will suggest canning some of his tomatoes, but I will leave the terms of the gift ... to him!
And I pray that God helps me surrender all of my giving to Him, so that I will stop insisting on being in control, so that my gifts may begin to reflect sacrifice, faith, and most importantly, love!
And I urge you to do the same!
In His love,
Lyn
Lynona Gordon Chaffart
Moderator, Associate Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries
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