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Having a form of dementia is a very isolating thing.
In my case, I have lost my ability to comprehend and to speak. Besides the fact that everyone is already hesitant to know what to say to someone with dementia, the fact that my communication has been so badly affected only puts another cruel layer to the isolation.
This is where we begin to see who truly wants to make an effort to communicate and who doesn't. Those who don't will nod their heads and say something like, "Oh, That's nice!" and walk away. Those who truly do want to communicate will listen. It's true that their faces (and their questions!) often indicate that they don't understand me, but it is truly nice to know that some care enough to try!
Another layer of isolation is the constant agitation inside of me. People don't know what to make of my continual pacing. Believe me, it is far worse for me, because I'm the one living with the feeling inside that I've got to move all the time, and to make matters worse, my doctor decided that I didn't need a certain medication that actually helped my agitation and took it away!
Sometimes I just can't modulate the behaviours that result from my agitation. Take, for example, the times my wife is trying to help me get cleaned up. First of all, I don’t see that I needed to be cleaned up, and I truly don't understand why this person is messing with me. I get so agitated that I forget it is my wife, and when she just keeps on and keeps on, I can't stop myself from pushing her away!
As a result, I've been labeled, "violent" ... Not a label anyone would choose to wear, and believe me, if I could control it, I would because I don't like to be this way either!
Yet layer of isolation is the people that apparently only I see. I talk to them all the time, and they always understand me. But others don't seem to know they are there.
Some of these people that apparently only I see are very, very bad. They must be evicted for the premises immediately! And so I go about yelling at them, pushing them through the door, slamming it shut behind them, stomping on them, swinging my fists, etc. When people are here, especially those who don’t know me as well, they don’t understand that I am actually trying to get rid of the terrible thing so it won’t hurt … them!
Take the new worker who came the other day ... He had heard of my “violent” label. But when he sat down, those evil creatures again invaded my home! And they were getting really close to the poor worker! Why wouldn't he just move! I reached out and put my hands on his shoulders. He jumped away as if I were the evil one, but he was jumping right into those creatures! So I grabbed his shirt to save him! Yet apparently it was all my fault when he slipped on the stairs and landed sideways on his right ankle...
And so I now have an "incident" on my record. Suddenly the workers weren't allowed to come and see me anymore, and all of the places where I might get help were afraid of me and refusing my applications.
We are all brought face to face with people whose behaviour isn't ideal. I have been guilty in the past of avoiding them, and sometimes I would yell at them. What if we all tried to understand that the behaviours we are seeing may actually be caused by something that we don’t see?
Take, for example, the driver weaving down the road. They've obviously been tipping the bottle…What we may not know is that the person just received news that their child was in a fatal car accident. They are drunk, but with grief, not alcohol!
Why don't we all agree to pray for these people instead of judging them? After all, we are told, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)!
I am so glad that God sees the root causes of our bad behaviour and deals with those instead of simply labeling us. But God takes it a step further. You see, my record in Heaven used to contain terrible words: Guilty! Sinner! Liar! Selfish! And there was nothing I could do to erase those accurate words...
But one day I accepted Jesus into my life. His blood washed over my records and all those bad ... and true! ... words were erased forever by the blood of the Lamb: "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." (1 John 1:7 NIV).
I have truly experienced the promise made in Isaiah 1: "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." (Vs. 18 NIV)! Praise God!
What does your heavenly record say, friend? Whatever is written there, Jesus' blood can permanently remove it. All you have to do is submit to Him and accept His gift. If you would like to have a clean heavenly record, please click here!
And if you've already allowed Jesus' blood to cleanse your heavenly record, remember my story and try not to judge people unless you truly know what's going on with them. As good rule of thumb? Don't judge anyone unless you've walked a kilometer in their shoes!
God bless you all!
Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Founder, Answers2Prayer Ministries
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