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What kind of a person are you? Do you see the good in people? Or do you tend to complain about everything and everyone?
I hope that when I was cognitively healthy, I was one who saw the good in things, but to be quite frank, I don't remember. I know how I am now, though! I am always happy!
Uh ...
Okay, so my "mom" doesn't agree... She says I fuss all the time.
And in case you are remembering that my mom went to be with the Lord in 2017, you are remembering correctly. However, ever since my dementia diagnosis, my wife has been taking care of me ... well ... kind of like a mom ... and in my mind, although I know she's not really my mom, that is the place she is currently filling in my mind. Hence, I see her as my "mom"...
But back to my story. I actually don't know if I fuss all the time. I certainly don't remember fussing all the time... But there are lots of bad things that happen to me every day, so shouldn't I fuss a little?
Take, for example, the whole morning "get ready for the day" routine. My "mom" can be a tyrant. She insists on getting me cleaned up ... using ... yikes ... water and soap! ... at least once every two days. Doesn't she know I don't do anything to get dirty? It's a total waste of time, water and soap, and to be honest, I feel like my privacy is being violated... And in the evenings she insists on clean underwear and pajamas. Why do I need pajamas? What's wrong with my day clothes? It would certainly save on laundry! Don't I have the right to fuss a little?
And then she asks me if I want to go for a walk. I assume we are going to go out to the street and back, so I readily agree. Shouldn't I fuss when she makes me go all the way around the block, or worse, all the way down to the local park (1 km/.6 mi)?
And what right does she have to make me go to the doctor? And take pills? And go shopping with her? And leave me with a respite worker? And...
See what I mean? She's a virtual tyrant! What I don't get is why she tells me I shouldn't fuss all the time. Like this morning, for example. She was mean. She pulled off my pajama pants and socks, washed the lower half of my body, and then she put clean clothes on me. She was in my personal space for literally forever! Of course I fussed! Then she dared come to me with a cup of hot chocolate and tell me it was only for people who didn't fuss! I stopped fussing for a few seconds. I wanted the hot chocolate. And when I did, she began telling me all the ... good ... things she does for me! She mentioned that she cares enough to try to keep me clean and healthy, that she washes my clothes and gives me good food, even hot chocolate. Then she had the audacity to suggest that maybe I should focus on the good things! I'm pretty sure that if the tables were turned, she would be the one fussing for having to change her clothes!
This reminds me a lot of how most of us treated our real moms when we were young. We completely overlooked all the little things they did for us and put all of our focus on the not-so-nice things. And it doesn't matter how many more good things there were, all of it is erased in our minds as we contemplate the one thing that didn't please us ...
I think that many of us treat God the same way. We completely overlook all the blessings He gives us on a daily basis, and instead, we get angry at the tiniest little inconvenience. "God should have ______________"!
Is this why Paul tells us, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)? Maybe instead of getting angry at Him, we should spend some time contemplating the thousands of blessings He gives us each day! It would certainly put us into a more positive mindset! Maybe the bad things wouldn't seem so bad after all...
And maybe trying to focus a bit more on what my "mom" does that is good would put me in a more positive mindset as well ... And maybe it would even make her happier... With Mother's Day just around the corner, maybe the best gift we could give the "moms" in our lives is to appreciate them for all the good things they do for us and forget for a day the one or two things that we don't like as much ...
Hum ... It might make a good Mother's Day present for my "mom" if I let her change my clothes without drama...
Inspired by Rob Chaffart
Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries
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