We had a special prayer time at the office last week. Our webmaster, Frederick, shared with us his story:
“Last night I was telling the Lord how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling lately, with all the work I have to do for our website.” He said.
“I told Him I didn’t know if I could do everything I’m supposed to do… and that frankly, I was beginning to become scared of Aileen.” (That’s me. — Ed.)
“But then I felt the Lord impressing upon me 2 words: obedience, and humility.
“And He said, ‘You know Frederick, all I ask of you is to do what Aileen tells you to do. And then I want you to admit that you can’t do everything. And then — when you finally realize that — I expect you to ask for My help.
“‘Because, My son,’ the Lord told Frederick, ‘I CAN.'”
Fired with inspiration, he worked on the script for the next 6 hours, debugged it, and by morning we were proudly telling our company president, “Frederick did it!” And for just one moment, we were allowed to glimpse his rarely-seen smile.
During prayer that morning — as Frederick ended his sharing — all we could really say to each other was, “Amazing! God is so amazing!”
“And guess what else this proves?” I told them, “Jesus knows CGI and Perl!”
* * * * *
Our webmaster wasn’t the only one reminded of obedience and humility that day.
For the past few months so many changes have stormed my own life, that I couldn’t help feeling washed up and overwhelmed.
In March I received a full time job, and now I’m getting paid (regularly!) To do everything I love — and “everything I love” is a lot. Because we need to leave our baby at home, my husband and I are now always looking for people we could trust to care for her while we’re away — and it’s not always a successful search.
A few months ago my doctor found 4 lumps in my breasts (2 in each side). They are not malignant (praise God!) But I’ll need an operation in September to have them removed.
Then — just some weeks ago — my husband and I were given a cell group of 4 couples to look after… and it seems like every concern they share with us adds to the burden in our hearts.
I bet you can imagine where all this “busyness” led me.
It wasn’t very long before all the roles I had to perform (operations officer, editor in chief, ezine publisher, writer, wife, mother, friend, cell group leader) left me with no time for myself…
…and no time for God.
For a very long time my only conversation with God was a quick, “Lord help me!” Each morning before we kissed our baby goodbye and rushed off to work.
And although there were moments when I had some 15 minutes to spare to continue the online workshop we started, I was at a loss on what to say.
Because I could no longer hear God’s voice… and it’s His voice that’s been the driving force behind this workshop all along.
This was what saddened me, most of all.
I missed God, I missed resting in His arms, I missed being able to hear Him in the quiet of my heart. I was tired of having to be responsible all the time, I was tired of having to watch out for everyone else.
And so — because He knew I needed it — God gave me that morning.
That wonderful morning, when Frederick told us his story, and I suddenly heard His voice so clearly again:
“You know Aileen, all I ask of you is to accept what you’re supposed to do.
“And then I want you to admit that you can’t do everything.
“And then — when you finally realize that — I expect you to ask for My help.
“Because My child,” the Lord tells me with love, “I CAN.”
Aileen Suquila-Santos [email protected]