… Jesus issues a tender reminder as he passes the cup. “Every one of you drink this. This is my blood which is the new agreement that God makes with his people. This blood is poured out for many to forgive their sins” (Matt. 26:27-28).
“Every one of you drink this.” Those who feel unworthy. Drink this. Those who feel ashamed, drink this. Those who feel embarrassed, drink this.
May I share a time when I felt all three?
By the age of eighteen I was well on my way to a drinking problem. My system had become so resistant to alcohol that a six-pack of beer had little or no impact on me. At the age of twenty God not only saved me from hell after this life, he saved me from hell during it. Only he knows where I was headed, but I have a pretty good idea.
For that reason, part of my decision to follow Christ included no more beer. So I quit. But, curiously, the thirst for beer never left. It hasn’t hounded me or consumed me, but two or three times a week the thought of a good beer sure entices me. Proof to me that I have to be careful is this-nonalcoholic beers have no appeal. It’s not the flavor of the drink; it’s the buzz. But for more than twenty years, drinking has never been a major issue.
A couple of years ago, however, it nearly became one. I lowered my guard a bit. One beer with barbecue won’t hurt. Then another time with Mexican food. Then a time or two with no food at all. Over a period of two months I went from no beers to maybe one or two a week. Again, for most people, no problem, but for me it could become one.
You know when I began to smell trouble? One hot Friday afternoon I was on my way to speak at our annual men’s retreat. Did I say the day was hot? Brutally hot. I was thirsty. Soda wouldn’t do. So I began to plot. Where could I buy a beer and not be seen by anyone I knew?
With that thought, I crossed a line. What’s done in secret is best not done at all. But I did it anyway. I drove to an out-of-the-way convenience store, parked, and waited until all patrons had left. I entered, bought my beer, held it close to my side, and hurried to the car.
That’s when the rooster crowed.
It crowed because I was sneaking around. It crowed because I knew better. It crowed because, and this really hurt, the night before I’d scolded one of my daughters for keeping secrets from me. And now, what was I doing?
I threw the beer in the trash and asked God to forgive me. A few days later I shared my struggle with the elders and some members of the congregation and was happy to chalk up the matter to experience and move on.
But I couldn’t. The shame plagued me. Of all the people to do such a thing. So many could be hurt by my stupidity And of all the times to do such a thing. En route to minister at a retreat. What hypocrisy! I felt like a bum. Forgiveness found its way into my head, but the elevator designed to lower it eighteen inches to my heart was out of order.
And, to make matters worse, Sunday rolled around. I found myself on the front row of the church, awaiting my turn to speak. Again, I had been honest with God, honest with the elders, honest with myself. But still, I struggled. Would God want a guy like me to preach?
The answer came in the Supper. The Lord’s Supper. The same Jesus who’d prepared a meal for Peter had prepared one for me. The same Shepherd who had trumped the devil trumped him again. The same Savior who had built a fire on the shore stirred a few embers in my heart.
“Every one of you drink this.” And so I did. It felt good to be back at the table.
Traveling Light, Max Lucado, 2001, W Publishing Group, Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.