"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among
the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to
my taste." (Song 2:3, NIV2)
When we fall in love, we can't help
but spend time with the one we love. It becomes way more important than
our daily tasks or even our work. In fact, our every thought is geared
constantly towards that special one as we hunger to spend time with each
other again. It is pure heavenly bliss.
Ultimately, this leads to
our highlight of life: marriage. Now we are joined together. Now we have
the privilege of enjoying each other day in and day out. Sadly, over
time, that one we love so tenderly often ends up in second place, or
worse. Sometimes they don't even place at all. When finances become
scarce or abundant, for example, somehow we start to spend more time
away from our spouse.
Then there's children. What a blessing! But
at the same time, responsibilities increase exponentially, and adversity
doesn't help the mix. We end up focusing on our responsibilities, which
is good, except that the one we used to dream constantly about is now
playing second fiddle. We find ourselves completely out of time.
Sacrifices have to be made, and it's usually your spouse who feels the
consequences. Little by little we become estranged from one another as
our priorities take all of our time. Before we know it, we have become
strangers in the same home. Love is on its way out, and it becomes easy
in these times to fall into temptation, a trap that will lead us to
despair.
The only way to keep love alive is to spend time daily
with your beloved spouse, who should be your real priority. Walk
together, eat together and share your joys as well as your
disappointments. Be one, as we are supposed to be!
The same is
true with experiencing our Heavenly Father. If we don't spend time with
Him, we will become estranged as well. A poor relationship always leads
to disaster. After all, we were created to genuinely love. When sin
appeared, selfishness became the norm, but it doesn't have to be the
case. A strong marriage, where we long for one another day in and day
out, is the only way where real happiness will occur!
What
happens when communication breaks down? Let us go back to the time of
June 2, 1763. Local Objiway, with the help of the Matchekewis, planned
an attack at Fort Michilimackinac (Quite a mouthful, don't you think?)
In what is now Northern Michigan. The attack was to take place in the
pretense of playing a game of baggatiway, something similar to the
modern sport of Lacrosse. What the British soldiers didn't realize is
that the native women had concealed weapons.
The attack happened
when the ball flew over the stockade into the fort. The players rushed
through the gate as if chasing their ball, but instead, they seized
tomahawks and knives from their women and attacked the unsuspecting
soldiers. Within minutes, they were in control of the fort and 21
soldiers in total were dead.
Why did this massacre occur?
The communication between the British soldiers who occupied Fort
Michilimackinac and the local native people had broken down. The British
had begun to refuse to distribute gifts, a long-standing tradition that
the Objiway considered quite important in order to establish
relationships. Also, instead of going to the Objiway camps, the British
made the natives travel to all the way to Fort Michilimackinac to trade
their furs, and the native people were far from happy.
All of
this could have been avoided by open communication, for the success of
the Objiway attack made the British rethink their policies. They began
to distribute gifts to the native peoples, and they began sending fur
traders to the native winter camps. Over time, the Objiway became close
friends and allies to the British at Fort Michilimackinac. In fact,
during the American Revolution, they actually fought with the Redcoats.
Breakdowns in communication always lead to disaster. May we never
forget this!
"Sorry honey. I don't have time right now. Wait a
couple of years, and then I'll have time to listen. You don't mind, do
you?"
"You never have time for me! You are insane!"
"I am
not!"
Sigh!
Rob Chaffart