I'm upside down and inside out. I'm lost and found. I'm broken into a
thousand pieces and still I am together.
I remember the great
book by pastor David Wilkerson, "The Cross and the Switchblade."
There was one part in that true story that has stayed with me for many
decades.
I used it one time when someone called in my radio
program to tell me they didn't like me, live on air.
David
Wilkerson had his life threatened. I had my belief tested.
Wilkerson is confronted by Nicky Cruz in this scene: Nicky Cruz: "You
come near me and I'll kill you!"
David Wilkerson: "Yeah, you
could do that. You could cut me up into a thousand pieces and lay them
in the street, and every piece will still love you."
When I
mentioned this story to the caller I said, "So, you can cut me up in a
thousand pieces and I'll still believe in you."
He said he had to
go. "I'm starting to like you!"
Imagine that?
In pieces
and still able to love.
Falling apart and yet still together.
I have been struggling greatly. Perhaps you have been, too.
You think you have it all together and then everything suddenly falls
apart.
I've discovered something remarkable in this last seven
months of my life. I've been trying to understand so much but couldn't
understand anything.
I tried to figure out what I did wrong. I
wanted to come to a conclusion that made sense out of where I was at
this point in my life rather than where I thought I would be.
Here's what I discovered: "It isn't what I've done. It's what I
can't do."
What I've done is all yesterday. What I can't do is
change that.
What I've done is what I thought was right. What I
can't do is make it right.
What I've done is loved someone the
best I knew how. What I
can't do is make her love me.
What
I've done is dreamed big lofty dreams. What I can't do is...stop
dreaming like that. It's who I am.
What I've done is tried to
make a difference in the world. What I can't do is stop trying.
What I've done is prayed to God to help me accept things. What I can't
do is accept them easily.
I've fallen apart many times alone in
the middle of the day.
I've fallen apart alone in the middle of
the night.
But even when I was apart "in a thousand
pieces...laying there on the floor...God still loved me."
Yes,
even when we fall apart we are together in His eyes.