I love Jesus with all of my heart, but despite this, it still seemed
I was missing something. I hungered, and still hunger more than ever
before, to grow closer and closer to Jesus. But I am my own worst enemy.
I became so focused in being extra organized that there was no time left
over for experiencing God fully. I had "to do" lists for everything
under the sun: Things at work, things at home, things for the ministry,
for relaxation, for meditating on Bible texts, you name it! My "to do"
lists were dominating my life!
Then I faced a white night. I was
suffering from insomnia and breathing problems, as well as anxiety due
to the sleep apnea that my CPAP machine could no longer correct. I
suddenly had all the time in the world to find out more about the Lover
of my soul. As a result, I have grown closer to Him and I try to focus
on Him and Him alone. Even though I am now experiencing harsh trials
from very different fronts, I am at peace because Jesus is my vision. My
"to do" lists no longer dominate me!
There are times where I
become slack in my faith, but then Jesus nudges me gently, reminding
that He, too faced anxiety. In fact, right before His arrest, just prior
to the worst ordeal known to mankind, He was completely at peace.
That's what is amazing about Jesus. Even though He knew what was
awaiting Him, "On the way, he took the Twelve aside and said to them,
'We are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over
to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him
to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged
and crucified. On the third day he will be raised to life!'" (Matthew
20:17-19, NIV2), He didn't fret or worry.
In fact, just prior to
His arrest, He said: "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of
death. Stay here and keep watch with me." (Matthew 26:38b, NIV2).
But even then, instead of worrying, even though anxiety was pounding
on His heart's door, He decided to confide in His Father: "Sit here
while I go over there and pray." (Matthew 26:36b, NIV2). He found relief
in God, and when his enemy arrived, he was completely at peace, even
when He was beaten and then condemned to the worst death that exists on
this planet: Crucifixion.
I believe that our tendency is to be
"worry warriors" rather than "prayer warriors". Too often we let the
circumstances of life dominate our souls, causing us to lose sleep and
rendering us obsessed about tomorrow. But it doesn't have to be that
way! Didn't Jesus declare: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about
your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will
wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?"
(Matthew 6:25, NIV2)
When we worry, we truly miss out on the
experience of real living! It robs us of everything we were created for,
rendering us vulnerable and defenceless. It is a weapon from the evil
one whose sole purpose is "to steal and kill and destroy" (John 10:10
NIV).
But this, along with all of our worries, can be defeated,
if we let Jesus be the sole focus of our lives. Instead of being "worry
warriors", it is time that we stand up and become "prayer warriors". Our
lives are at stake, and we don't have to let ourselves become beaten by
the defeat created by our endless worries. Have you noticed that no
matter what we do, the worries never disappear? Until we give them to
Jesus, that is!
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, NIV2)
Only He can give
us real rest, for He can guide us through the adversities of life so
much better than any of us can. It is our choice whether or not we
experience Jesus fully, and it all depends upon... What kind of
"warrior" we would like to be!
Rob Chaffart
Written on January
13, 2013