What is the first thing we do when injustice happens to us? Don't we
try to rectify it through our own ingenuity and effort?
And how
do we react if we fall into temptation of any kind? Don't we try to make
up for it by performing better? Isn't our tendency to try to show God
how sorry we are? Don't we savor working harder and making great
sacrifices to show our sincerity?
Reality hits hard when we
realize that addiction cannot be overcome in this manner. Nor can we
pursue a satisfactory solution to any of the injustices committed
against us on our own! We can't fix the problems on the inside by
putting Band-Aids on the outside!
Our God does not delight in
such sacrifices, for they are really meaningless, no matter how sincere
we may be. Only when we fall on our knees, completely broken inside,
will we have a hint of hope and true salvation. Only when we cry to God
for help, realizing that we can't do anything about our circumstances,
will the Son start to shine on us and hope will be birthed.
This
is what Jacob experienced firsthand when undergoing total anguish in
complete solitude. During the 147 years he lived on earth, 95 of those
years were spent weaseling his way out of precarious situations, putting
all of his effort into serving himself. Yes, he did experience God in
Bethel, but his acceptance of God was conditional and self-serving.
Only on his way back to Canaan, when he had to face his brother from
whom he had stolen his birthright through trickery, did he realize that
no matter what he did, his situation was hopeless. He had planned
several scenarios to get out of this trouble, and his last decision of
sending a multitude of gifts to his brother ahead of him, followed by
his entire family, left him completely alone and desperate. He began to
realize that all of his manipulations would not serve to save him from
his dire circumstances this time!
That night he found himself in
a life and death struggle with someone he considered to be a man. At
daybreak that "man" touched the socket of Jacob's hip "so that his hip
was wrenched", and immediately Jacob realized that this was no ordinary
man! The "man" was about to leave when Jacob begged: "I will not let you
go unless you bless me." (Gen 32:26 NIV)
That day Jacob was
completely broken, not only physically, but also deep in his heart. He
realized that he was desperate. He finally recognized that he had no
control over his circumstances. That was the day he relinquished all
control to God, and that was the day that he was radically changed. God
even changed his name: "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."
(Gen 32:28 NIV) He was no longer Jacob, the "deceiver". Instead, he was
Israel, "God fights".
Hope now filled him, and this hope bore
fruit when he had a peaceful reunion with his brother.
All
throughout the Bible we encounter people who have been completely broken
of their self-reliance. These are the ones who became heroes of the
faith.
In life, we notice many examples of the benefits of
brokenness. Take a seed for example. It won't grow until it dies and is
buried in dirt. But once it grows, its fruit is delightful!
In
Hveragerdi, Iceland we discovered a popular library. Hveragerdi is a
tiny, ordinary town with a population of 2,316, but the traffic in this
particular library is far more than would be expected from such a small
town. There are many books in the library, and it also hosts a tourist
information centre. But what really attracts tourists to this library is
the large fissure running through its floor. The crevice is caused by an
oceanic rift. It has been covered with plexiglass, and is therefore safe
to walk on, giving the library the distinction of being one of the only
places on earth where you can actually walk over an oceanic rift! Thus,
this "broken" library attracts more people than a typical library would!
But remember that covering cracks (even within our inner self) will
not make these cracks mysteriously disappear. There is only One who can
turn these into triumph!
Rob Chaffart