When I left home to attend college overseas, all I could think about was
how exciting it was to go to a new country. I was completely oblivious
to the fact that my mother's world would change dramatically. Being the
youngest of two, my departure left my mother with nothing but emptiness
and memories.
My weekly phone calls were received with much
anticipation, as were the cassette tapes I would send every week. My mom
lived for those special moments, but nothing was more welcomed by her
then when I came back home for a visit.
When my mother's world
was invaded by Alzheimer's, my own little world changed forever.
Although I call her daily, our conversations over the phone are usually
brief and filled with evidence of her anxiety. Most days, I am still a
reality to her, but I will never be as much of a reality to her as I was
in the past.
My mother's biggest desire in life used to be this:
All I want is more of you! She literally lived for her kids, and there
was nothing she liked more than for us to share our burdens with her.
Now all of this love has been taken away to be replaced by an enemy that
only brings anxiety and confusion.
It's ironic and sad that many
parents can't wait for their kids to leave home. Some even count the
days. But once gone, emptiness invades the home, and parents are
suddenly faced with an insatiable hunger to see more of their kids. How
much more does God hunger for our fellowship! But how many of us,
instead of building that welcomed intimate relationship, slumber on our
pew and wonder what life is all about. Fear is part of our everyday
life, and we have come to believe it is completely normal. How far have
we strayed?
If we would only take some time to read the love
letters that the Lover of our soul has sent to us, we would be aware
that our condition is not normal:
"But you walked away from your
first love - why? What's going on with you, anyway? Do you have any idea
how far you've fallen? A Lucifer fall! Turn back! Recover your dear
early love." (Rev 2:4-5 The Message)
"There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear..." (1 John 4:18 NIV)
"For God
has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a
sound mind." (2 Tim 1:7 NKJV)
Consider how much God hungers for
us! All He wants is more of us! How will we respond to His desire?
"This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into
the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are
talking about - not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he
loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the
damage they've done to our relationship with God." (1 John 4:9-10 The
Message)
"That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love
you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation
just for you." (Isa 43:4 The Message)
Interestingly, it's only
when we respond to His love that His love is able to drive away all
anxiety!
"So don't be afraid: I'm with you." (Isa 43:5 The
Message)
What's your biggest desire in life?
Rob Chaffart