I was never good at directions.
I'm not a typical man, I actually
stop and ask for directions when I'm lost. The problem is I never
remember what I'm told.
Mostly it's because I only listen the
first time.
Did you ever notice that when you ask someone for
directions they tell you in detail and as you turn to walk away, they
repeat everything they just said again. Like they are repeating it for
their own sake.
That's where they lose me. I need to be told once
and while it's fresh in my mind I need to run back to the car and take
off.
The second time they tell me, I try to tune out what they
are saying and my theory is it's like erasing a tape on playback.
I think that's what happened to me with Christmas.
I'm lost
this year. I thought I knew the way, but it turns out all the familiar
landmarks are missing.
Most of them are still in the attic. Some
are gone for good.
Lights, garland, the big Christmas tree, the
clipboard with all of the mailing addresses for Christmas cards, among
other things, still remain tucked away in boxes.
That's why I got
lost.
I stopped and asked for directions from a few friends. They
knew exactly how to get there. Or at least how to find their Christmas.
I listened and then when I got home I forgot everything they told
me.
What they described couldn't be found in my house.
I
sat in my living room. Through the doorway I could see my tiny tree.
Still, I felt little of what I was looking for. I gazed around the
room and it was ordinary. No twinkle, no glitter, no greens or stockings
hung along the stairs.
I had no idea where I was. "This is
Christmas?" I asked.
So, I called for directions.
"Dear
God,
This is Bob. I'm sorry to bother you. I know this is a busy
time for you as the world is getting ready to celebrate Your Son's
birthday.
But I'm lost.
Yes, again.
I'm on my way
to Christmas and I can't find it. All the signs are missing. I get the
feeling I'm closing in on it and then...then the feeling is gone.
What God? I'm looking at the wrong signs?
But it's all I ever
looked for in Christmas. You know, the lights the decorations, and
presents. I've had to stop buying presents this year. So, that has me
really lost. I mean there's no wrapping to be done.
There's no
placing them under the tree. No real joy in seeing everyone opening them
on Christmas day.
I've been looking in the wrong places you say?
But Christmas is all that and more, right God? It's memories of the
past. Pictures of family gathered around the tree. Candles glowing in
the night.
Parties and big dinners, laughter and carols sung by
choirs at church. Music on the radio that brings warm feelings of joy to
my heart.
I can't find it. Others have. I see it in their eyes.
You're right. Maybe I have been looking at it all wrong. You didn't
move it? I mean, you didn't change it in any way, did you God?
It's always been the same, you say, but we've changed it. I understand,
I think.
So, in a sense my Christmas this year, being alone, may
very well help me to find Christmas again?
I thought Christmas
was all about family.
It is, you say. It's about the Holy Family.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
The only Christmas lights were the stars.
The only directions to it were by following the brightest star.
The only decoration was hay and only three gifts were given.
I
remember now.
Forgive me God, but where do I find it, how do I
find it on my own?
And God said to me, "And this will be a sign
for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloth, and lying in a manger."
I sat quietly. There was no reason for those directions to be
repeated to me.
I knew them by heart. Somehow though, I had
gotten lost along the way.
It just so happens that my all time
favorite carol is "Silent Night." It is, in fact, how I will be spending
Christmas this year. Quietly. Peacefully...Silently.
Don't feel
sorry for me. Don't pity me. This year I may not have the Christmas I
always remembered, but I will have the Christmas I should have been
looking for...I was just... "Lost on my way to the manger."
Come
with me. Even in the hustle of your busy Christmas celebration. Find the
Silent Night and look for the manger. There you will find all you've
ever needed.
I hope to see you there.
Merry Christmas!