"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your
paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun
evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your
bones." (Proverbs 3:5-8, NIV2)
Where do you turn when all of your
options have been exhausted? Who do you trust when your health seems to
have taken a trip to the centre of the Earth?
Remember the
unnamed woman who had an issue of blood for over 12 years? She turned to
myriads of doctors, and not only did she suffer under their care, for in
those days, medicine was far from ideal, but she also ended up spending
every penny she had. And in the end, she found herself destitute, with
her illness worse than ever. How many among us who read this are in a
similar, desperate situation?
The good news is that we can take
heart! The woman did, indeed, find solace! "And a woman was there who
had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great
deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet
instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus,
she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she
thought, 'If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.'" (Mark
5:25-28, NIV2)
Five years ago, after undergoing a sleep study, I
was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea. It was also noted that my legs are
in constant motion when I sleep, and I toss back and forth continually,
like I am in a continual marathon and dance recital! In addition, it was
discovered that I don't reach the deep sleep stage very often, whatever
that is. Zeroing in on the sleep apnea, the doctor prescribed a CPAP
machine for me, along with some non-addictive sleep medication to help
me fall asleep. All the other symptoms, however, were ignored.
It
wasn't easy for me to adapt to wearing a CPAP mask during the night. Not
only does it cover the entire face, but it continually blows a
high-force stream of air on my face. And as I'm inclined to run
marathons in my sleep, that seal of the mask against my face tends to
break. Never mind the noise of the actual CPAP machine; I begin to feel
like I'm leaky (and squeaky!) Airplane!
Still the CPAP did help
me, and I wore it faithfully for five years.
Then the unexpected
happened. I again began to experience difficulties falling asleep, and
even worse, I began to feel like I couldn't breathe while wearing the
mast and I would wake up gasping for air. Initially I was able to get
myself back to sleep, but on Christmas Day of this last year, this
gasping for air caught up with me. When I put on my mask that night and
lay down in my bed, I began to suffocate, even though air was coming
through my mask. My heart began to pound, making me feel as though I
were about to take off into orbit, and faster than a bolt of lightning,
I ripped the mask off of my face and bolted out of bed. I was
experiencing my first full-fledged panic attack!
I went
downstairs to try and calm down, but no matter what I did, I couldn't
fall asleep. My thoughts were dominated by my anxiety, and although I
tried to pray, I couldn't focus enough to make any sense out of my
words. I went online, then, and I fed myself with hundreds of facts
about apnea, sleep and anxiety attacks. Now these are great facts to
know, but they were totally worthless when it came to putting me to
sleep. I began thinking about how I could avoid this and that, and of
course, this led me nowhere either. I experienced first-hand what it
means to lean on your own understanding. This led me in never-ending
circles, with no hope in sight, for most of the ideas that were
forthcoming were ones that I had already tried. And they had already
failed me.
That's when I began to realize that I tend to worry a
lot. I thought I was laying all my burdens down at Jesus' feet (See Math
11:28), but all of these "planning sessions", as I called them, were
nothing but numerous worries haunting my spirit.
That was the
first step to me beginning to realize that I was heading for disaster.
At that moment I was again able to pray, and I proceeded to give God all
of my medical problem. I must admit that I added a brief little line to
my prayer of faith: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark
9:24, NIV2) The prayer was short, but soon I found myself sleeping
upright in my arm chair.
I have no idea where this will lead, as
I still have problems falling asleep, but I know I have nothing to be
afraid off, for God will give me the strength to face each and every
day, no matter how much, or how little sleep I receive. Truthfully,
though this experience rated as a fear factor of 10, it has brought me
even closer to my Lord and Saviour. Suffering can indeed lead us closer
to Jesus, if we let it. As for falling asleep, that's now in His hands!
If you feel you can't pray, try it anyway. Not everything can be
cured by today's medicine. Jesus can heal us, but far more importantly
He will stand by us and give us the strength to face what seems
impossible. Healing is not what is most important. Experiencing our Lord
and Saviour more deeply than ever before will lead us to the inner peace
that is so difficult to find in this world. David experienced God so
deeply that he could honestly declare: "Even though I walk through the
darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and
your staff, they comfort me." (Psalms 23:4, NIV2) and his life was far
from being ideal! We, too, can experience that same inner peace.
Are you experiencing sleep problems? Don't count sheep; try talking to
the Shepherd instead!
Rob Chaffart
Written on Dec 30, 2012
