Out of habit, I felt for the light switch in our bathroom. I flipped it
on, but the darkness remained. I held my breath and my muscles
tightened.
It was that day I dreaded. I knew it would come, but I
held on to a glimpse of hope that my eyesight wouldn't close in
completely.
In futility, I prayed and begged. My husband and I
looked for treatments everywhere. Nothing offered hope. So I increased
my prayers for a miracle, but God was silent.
Only months after I
noticed changes in my vision, the retinal disease robbed all my vision,
destroyed our dreams for me, my husband and for my sons.
On that
awful day, holding onto the cold countertop, I looked toward the mirror
and saw a dreary-gray nothing. I was blind!
Gene stepped in, held
my hand and whispered, "I'll be okay." He gently brushed some hair
strands from my face.
In the weeks that followed, I dragged my
steps to accomplish the basic chores for our sons and for him. And while
doing the chores at home, like mopping the kitchen floor barefoot--to
feel the spots I missed--I wore a headset, listening to the Bible. A
habit I formed and followed day after day, every moment I could.
Our marriage faced painful adjustments. But Gene's renewed commitment,
support and patience brought sparks of light into my darkness.
"I'll stop by the store and pick up what we need," he said with a
matter-of-fact tone. "And then I'll get Jason to his Boy Scout meeting."
He took over many chores, and I took a different place in our
marriage. I wasn't in charge of the schedule anymore. But instead, I was
dependant on his availability and his time to take over the driving, pay
the bills, and help our sons with their homework.
Years swept by,
turning the pages of our life together. Some were stained with the pain
of losing our youngest son, others wrinkled with adjustments to
unexpected financial setbacks, and the pages of my blindness were
carefully taped together.
But each page tells of a man who chose
to turn the worse for him into the best for me. The sweet aroma of his
cologne surrounds me with delight as he prays for my day before leaving
for work.
One day, as was our routine, he was reading one of the
dozens of books to me. I asked him, "Don't you wish I could do that for
you for a change?"
He kissed my cheek. "You do for me more than I
do for you," he said. "We make a good team just the way we are, and
we'll make it to the end. We have God as our coach."
In silence,
I pondered his last sentence. It reveals an important truth. God was
never silent. Instead, He was quietly weaving a series of events that
would end up in the tapestry of victory.
God was our healer, our
provider and guide.
And as Gene said, "God is also our divine
coach. He calls the plays: to submit and to love."
With my eyes
fixed on Jesus, I submitted to Gene's love, as required in Ephesians
5:22. And as he followed God's instructions, he handed me the crown of
his devotion.
Now, I look in the direction of the mirror, and
smile at my new reflection. In my mind I see the beauty of God's love. I
used to grope my way around, but now I take His hand.
My steps
don't hesitate anymore, they're secure and confident.
Rather than
tears, I celebrate our days as Gene saw beyond the ugliness of my
blindness. And with his love, he turned me into a queen.
Janet Eckles