A Special Kind of Love

by | Apr 30, 2018 | Family, Love

I guess you had to be born before the 1940’s to know what I mean about a special kind of love.

I believe you have to be brought up in a family that demonstrates their love and affection for one another; there are those who are just born huggers; touchy, feely kind of people. My parents were not like that.

My mother and father were both born in the late 1800’s and they were of an era when people in their particular part of the country, did not demonstrate their feelings too often. When they did it was almost imperceptible.

I remember once when I was about eight or nine years old, I came home from school one afternoon and asked my Mom if I could attend a movie which was being shown at the Library. Now, we lived on the East side of the river, which was not the best part of town. But in order to get to the Library, we had to walk across town and then across the bridge into the main part of the town before turning on Main Street and walking another block or two to reach the Library. This was quite a distance for an eight or nine year old.

Naturally my Mother said “No”. I begged and pleaded and she didn’t budge an inch. Finally in rebellion, I said, “I’m going.” She warned me what would happen when I got home. But I was determined to go see the movie.

So, off I went to the Library. I can’t even tell you what the movie was about, because I was so worried that when I got home my Dad was going to tan my hide.

I arrived home just at dusk, not quite dark, but so close you could barely tell the difference.

I began to beg my Mom not to let my Dad whip me. I had seen him give whippings and I didn’t want any. Not that he was a child beater. But he made a believer out me.

He never did give me a whipping, but I was so afraid he was going to I never did anything like that again.

That was a special kind of love. They loved me enough not to allow me to do things that would be potentially harmful to me.

I don’t remember either my Mom or Dad ever embracing me and telling me they loved me. However, one day, my father took me to town with him and when we were crossing the street in front of the bank, we met an old friend.

My Dad said the usual helloes, how are you, etc. Then he put his arm around my shoulders and said “This is my baby.”

That was the closest thing to an embrace and affectionate hug my Dad ever gave me. It was also the closest he ever came to saying he loved me. Still today, I get a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye when I recall those words, “This is my baby.” In moments of tenderness when someone embraces me and says, “I love you,” I get teary eyed and choked up because it was so seldom expressed to me when I was a child.

But it was a special kind of love. He didn’t have to tell us that he loved us, we knew it.

However, I do not advocate parents being this distant from their children.

That was the way my father and mother were raised, and they didn’t know how to show their love and affection. But children need that show of affection and to be told they are loved often.

As a result of my parents seemingly cold and distant ways toward me, I was unable to show my love and affection to our children. Therefore, it was hard on them. They had a difficult time with that. Our youngest son helped bring my husband and me out of that cold, unfeeling way of un-expressed love and affection towards our children. He always, from the time he was a baby would kiss us good night and tell us he loved us; because we didn’t have a problem telling the babies we loved them and showing them love and adoration. It was when they got older it became difficult for us to express our love for them, because that was the way we had been raised.

So, please parents, show your love and affection for your children. They will reward you for it after they are grown and have children of their own.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Cor 13:1-9 NIV)  

Nell Berry nellberry07@gmail.com


A Special Kind of Love