It was a simple thought, but it held within it answers I’ve been searching for most of my life. I knew it to be true. You see, I say it all the time. Not in the same way. Not using the same words. Not in the same tone of voice. Yet, when I said it last night I felt like I was screaming at the top of my lungs.
I was talking with my wife about issues in my life. Yes, like you, I have issues.
Right now, I have five things written on a small tablet in front of me. Each were meant to be a separate story. But just this very second I saw them all come together.
Why? Because of what I said last night.
“Most people walk to the edge of the ocean and are overwhelmed by the enormity of it. All they see is this massive thing before them. It is wonderful, breathing taking and awe inspiring. What they miss are the details. The ocean is made of tiny drops of water. Together they make an ocean, but without each drop there would be nothing at all.”
I have been blessed and burdened with the gift of seeing life’s details. Blessed because it makes me feel alive, fulfilled and one of God’s “interpreters of life.”
Burdened, for the very same reasons. It is an obligation I feel strongly about. That’s where the first item on my list came from. I’m now “screaming at the top of my lungs.”
To some, life is like the ocean, big, overwhelming, breathtaking and awe inspiring. They stand on the edge and fail to see the details. Life is made up of tiny moments and elements created by God. Each one is so important that, like the drops of water in the ocean, without them there would be no life.
Which brings me to another thing on my list. You can drown in the ocean. You can drown in life, too. Life is full of hurts, pain and disappointment. But it is the hurt that comes before the healing that makes us feel like we are truly alive.
Next…”Who knows where the time goes?”
I wrote that on the list one day because on my last birthday I tried to step off the train that was going 60 and discovered that I couldn’t. The number is more than your age. It is a measure of how fast you appear to be traveling.
Finally, the last thing on my list was scribbled recently.
My cherished friend and spiritual counselor, Nathaniel Bronner, wrote this message to me:
“As I was reading “One More Day” (note: he is referring to a recent story I sent everyone) I heard the Holy Spirit speak, “Within 30 days I am going to bless him beyond.” I thought, “Beyond? Beyond what?” But that’s all that I received. Perhaps in 30 days you will understand.”
I was humbled by that thought. I am already blessed beyond. Being human I immediately thought of good fortune, like a million gazillion dollars I’ve been asking God for so I could help more people. I want to pay their bills and mine so I don’t leave my wife in debt. Buy more meals for strangers, deliver more flowers anonymously to people who no longer get flowers, and pay for a few haircuts for a family that my barber knows is struggling financially. Also being human, I realized that there was no further explanation of what the Holy Spirit meant by “Beyond.”
In today’s terms, that was like being on the phone with God and the call was dropped…”Can you hear me now?”
I worried that God was calling me home. That’s where the last note on my list came from. He would “Bless me beyond.” I love life so much I thought I’d live forever. The last note says, “This is my forever.”
No, I’m not dying. But I am dying to know what “Beyond” means. God blesses me so much already, I can’t imagine “beyond.”
You see, we all live forever. Our forever is measured not in where our time goes, but in how much we lived, how much we noticed, how we interpreted life for others to appreciate, how much we hurt, and when called upon found it necessary to, “scream at the top of our lungs…”
Today face the ocean, stand on the edge of life and scream… “LIFE IS IN THE DETAILS!”
Bob Perks 2believe@comcast.net