Barbara Johnson… Whatever, Lord!

by | May 21, 2007 | Surrender, Trials, Worry

When Barbara Johnson discovered that her son Larry was homosexual, angry words were exchanged and her son left home, eventually changing his name, disowning the family, and disappearing into a gay lifestyle. Six years would pass before he made his way back home. She had already lost one son in Vietnam, and another in Alaska-the victim of a drunk driver.

“It’s always darkest just before it goes totally black,” she told me, laughing. “I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. My teeth itched. I didn’t think there was any way I could possibly get through all the losses. It is a monstrous myth that faith in God is an insurance policy against the blows of life. Tragedies happen every day and Christians are not immune.”

Barbara climbed in the car one day with suicide on her mind. “I couldn’t believe I had reached that point. And suddenly I realized that I might not be successful in my suicide attempt and could end up making baskets in the home for the bewildered. `Lord,’ I said, `I can’t handle this anymore. If he never comes home again, whatever happens, I’m giving my son to You.’

“When I said, `Whatever, Lord,’ I felt a complete sense of relief.

“From then on the Lord gave me joy. When we relinquish our burdens to God, He offers us joy and growth as we travel over the bumps and washouts of life. Not always in a limo sometimes in a pickup truck, a bicycle, or even a wheelchair. No matter. The important thing is to become aware of God’s care for us in even the smallest ways so that we may have abundant joy.”

Callaway, Phil. Laughing Matters. Oregon: Multnomah Publishers, 2005, p. 203-204.


Barbara Johnson… Whatever, Lord!