I felt dirty. I hadn’t taken a shower for a couple of days. This is why I was heading towards the showers of the campground we resided at in St. Anthony, New Brunswick.
The water felt warm and refreshing. While cleaning myself I reflected on the past few months. I had started to realize how I was trying to stay in control of my life. Almost every night in these past few months, I had woken up around two a.m. thinking about the upcoming events, tasks and responsibilities and how to take charge of them. I soon found myself exhausted and incapable of completing all of my daily tasks. It was time to change all of that! But how?
I realized that I was relying too much on myself and not enough on my Maker. I tried to control my circumstances, but they ended up by controlling me and making my life quite miserable. But how could I change this around? I felt helpless and I cried out to God for help.
As I turned off the tap water, I realized that the bottom of my soapbox had slidden into the top of my soap box. I grabbed the top part in one hand and the bit of the bottom part with the other hand and tried desperately to separate them from each other. No such luck! I tried several times, but was met with complete failure each time.
“Are you finished by trying to be in control?” I heard God ask me.
“Euh… Lord.” I muttered in embarrassment. “I am in a peculiar situation right now.”
“I know. What are you going to do about it?”
“Euh.. I am really trying to solve it, but…”
“But what?”
“I can’t!”
“I see.”
“I can’t do it by myself. Please help me.”
“Rely on me and learn.”
I was told to grab my washcloth and hold the bit of inside sticking out with it and to take the top part with my other hand.
“Pull them apart!”
As I did, both ends got unstuck and were separated effortlessly. “Lord, I am tired to be in control of my life. Please take the driver’s seat. I want you to be in charge!”
Is it any wonder that during the rest of my holidays, I was able to sleep through the night?
Staying in control’s over one’s life will make one worry endlessly and one’s efforts will often be quite futile. Circumstances will always try to control us, however utter dependence on God is the only way to sleep peacefully at night without having to worry about the outcome.
Who is in control of your life?
Rom 9:16 “It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” NIV ” 2 Cor 1:9-10Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us.” NIV
Rob Chaffart