The first five years of marriage for my wife and me were very tough. We had hurt each other so severely that it seemed impossible to salvage the loving relationship we once had.

Only one thing kept us together. We both knew God had ordained our marriage. Therefore we did not make divorce an option. Our only option was to believe He would heal and change us. We both committed ourselves to this process, no matter how painful.

When I had thoughts of giving up, I remembered the promises God had given me concerning our marriage. I was not ready to abort what God had designed and decreed for our union together.

One promise God had given us was that my wife and I would minister together. At the time He gave it, I thought, I can easily see that. His hand is on us both for ministry.

In the midst of our marital storms, I could no longer see the promise clearly. But I refused to let go of it. Natural hope was gone because of strife and pride that had entered our marriage.

Yet there was still a supernatural seed of life in my heart. That promise was an anchor or foundation in the time I needed it.

As it turned out, God not only healed our relationship but made it much stronger than before. We grew from the conflicts by forgiving one another and learning from them. We now minister together. I consider my wife not only my lover and best friend but the minister in whom I place the most confidence. I confide in her more than in any other person.

After coming through those rough first five years I realized that God saw flaws in both of our lives-and our relationship brought them out into the light.

I was in awe of the wisdom of our being joined as man and wife. Before I met Lisa I prayed diligently for the woman I would one day marry. That choice was the second most important decision of my life-next to obeying the gospel. Because of praying and waiting on God’s choice for my mate, I thought I would not have the problems others had in marriage. Oh, how wrong I was!

God selected a wife for me who was the desire of my heart. But she also exposed the selfish immaturity that was hidden in me. And there was much! To run from the conflict by choosing divorce or by blaming her would have only buried my immaturity under another layer of counterfeit protection called offense. Knowing the Word of God for marriage kept me from leaving. At this point I must detour from the main thrust of this chapter. Some of you who are reading this may be thinking, “I was not saved when I was married.”

To you God says, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord. A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife…. Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called” (1 Cor. 7:10-11, 24).

Let this word on the covenant of marriage be settled in your heart so that you are not moved from your steadfastness by the trap of offense. Then seek the Lord for His revealed Word for your marriage.

Some of you may not have married in the will of God even as believers. To enter into the blessing of God for your marriage, you must repent of not seeking His counsel before marrying, and He will forgive you. Settle it in your heart that two wrongs do not make a right to break a covenant because of offense is not the answer. Then seek the Lord for His Word for your marriage.

Bevere, John. The Bait of Satan. Lake Mary, Florida, Charisma House, 1997, p. 76-78 www.charismahouse.com