Crux of the Moment

by | Jun 1, 1999 | Alone, Presence

All of us have been exposed to a ‘moment of truth’, a moment where one’s life can turn on a decision, an action, a happening. For better or for ill, my life seems to be one long series of moments that have changed my life and my perspective of what is important in this world.

One of the first moments occurred during my college days. I worked at Boeing in Wichita, Kansas while attending full time classes in El Dorado, Kansas. Also, I was dating a sweet young thing at school. We would baby sit for a lady who had five children. Her name is withheld for privacy reasons.

My girl liked to dance and I had two left feet so, the mother of the children, we will call her Rosie, taught me to dance after school and before I had to be at work. After a few weeks she had me dancing very well. We became friends during this time. She was a single mother trying to raise five children while on welfare. A tough load. She hated welfare, but where could she get a job and pay the huge bill for someone to watch her children?

One day she phoned my house in Wichita and asked if I could help her with a small problem. A stray dog was hanging around her home and she couldn’t afford to keep it and would I take her to Wichita so she could take the stray to the animal shelter.

On the way to Wichita, driving at about 70-75 mph (before the 55 mph days), Rosie tried to open the passenger door and tried to jump out of my car! I kept driving fast as the wind was too strong to allow her to open the door. I told her to stop that she would kill me as well. She broke down and cried. I slowed the car down and pulled over so we could talk. She was without hope, she hadn’t been eating so as to feed the children. She did not know how she could make it. I took her to the local hospital in El Dorado, where she received IV’s to make her stronger. I made her promise not to do anything drastic.

I went to the local grocery store and filled my car with groceries and took them to her home. I stayed in her home with her kids (remember I am little ore than a kid myself) and made certain they went to school. The eldest child had to be the parent while I worked in Wichita.

I paid her phone bill and inventoried her home for necessities and took care of her needs. I gave her a ride from the hospital to her home. When she entered her home, she cried when she saw her cabinets full, her children happy. She asked me to take her to the local catholic church to offer prayers and to light a candle.

What happened next, I do not expect people to believe. Evening was upon us as we walked the two blocks to the small church. We entered and she proceeded to light a candle. I wandered around the church. I became fascinated with all the statues and with the large cross/crucifix at the front of the church. Nobody else was in the church. Then it happened! While looking at the crucifix, it seemed to me to move and I heard a voice, the voice, said, “You have done well and I am pleased.” The crucifix became a crucifix again, unmoving. Rosie, ran down the aisle and started to kiss my feet and saying, “You have been blessed.”

She heard the words also. I looked around, still nobody was there. I was confused, bewildered, but at the age of 22, filed the happening as an illusion……but was it? I think not. I believe in extreme times, during extreme events, we are not alone. Perhaps this event affected my life, perhaps… no it did affect my life.

I never wrote about this event before until today. But people need to know. Rosie, survived got married to a friend of mine and lived a good life. My life went through many trials, but I have had a good life…. Because I know I am not alone.

BJ Cassady Guthrie, Oklahoma


Crux of the Moment