She and her parents had always been close. She was an only child who, together with her dad, wrote the book on fathers and their little girls. She was close to her mom, but she and daddy shared a special relationship.

Much to his chagrin, while she was growing up, she wasn’t the great academic he expected her to be. Her talents lay in art, writing and dreaming, rather than the Mathematics and History that he held dear. Daddy went to great efforts to increase her understanding of these subjects. They spent many hours together going through intricate explanations of algebra and World Wars, during which he would often need to bring her back to reality with a stern “Listen!” when he saw her mind wandering. She remembers struggling through many an exam and hearing that beloved voice saying “Listen!” which helped her to focus and concentrate on the task at hand.

Well, needless to say, She didn’t achieve the academic excellence that daddy dreamed of. She did adequately well, left school, and horror of horrors, decided against going to university! She opted for business college and obtained 2 business diplomas. Thereafter, again much to dad’s disappointment, she didn’t quite manage to find an immediate niche in the business world. Daddy’s little princess had been brought up to aspire to more than a position in the secretarial field, and found it difficult to enter a company on a lower level than she would have liked.

She spent a couple of unstable years, unable to settle into steady employment, but always with daddy’s unfailing support to fall back on when things didn’t work out. She eventually ended up on the administrative side of the education field, and things fell into place.

She met a wonderful man, got married and the following year, gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Daddy could have burst with pride.

However about 18 months later, things began to change. She became pregnant again, and mom and dad were “blessed” with a vast inheritance from a dear family friend. Finally, daddy had the material wealth that he had so longed for all his life, and slowly but visibly, he began to change.

He became extremely critical of her lifestyle, her religious beliefs, her friends, her job, her small, but comfortable home, even the way she was raising the kids. Most painfully, he became critical of her husband and his lack of financial prowess. When it came to finances, they didn’t have a lot, but their home has always been one that is filled with loyalty, stability, warmth and above all, love. But these were the very things that her father seemed to find fault with. It seemed that every time they spoke, she came away feeling angry, hurt and depressed. She came so close to forgetting how happy and lucky she actually is.

Mom and dad began to travel extensively. They would be away for months at a time, after which they would return to Jo’burg (their dislike of which they were extremely vocal about) to criticize their daughter’s life here, some more. It reached a stage where they demanded that their daughter and her family leave South Africa due to the unstable nature of this country. They paid no regard to the fact that her family is happy here. They have a large circle of friends, and are extremely involved in community and school projects. The number of family confrontations escalated. It became quite unbearable and she felt that she couldn’t cope with the situation as it was. Her parents seemed oblivious to the pain they were causing.

When it became clear to them that they had no plans to leave, her parents eventually backed off, but her relationship with daddy seemed irreparably scarred. She could not get over the pain he had inflicted, and the harm he had done. He became so disinterested in her life that she was convinced that he just did not want to be a part of it. They spoke less and less, and their conversations were superficial, to say the least. It was impossible for her to share any details of her life with him. She was not ready for any more put-downs or any more blame. On the rare occasions he visited her home he went to great lengths to talk about his own friends and their successful children, the latest technological developments, his next travel plans. Anything, as long as he didn’t have to talk about what was going on in his daughter’s life.

She reached a crucial point in her life, and asked herself: “Do I really want to lose daddy, or do I want him to be a part of my life?” She realized that for him to be a part of her life, it didn’t necessarily mean that he had to share every detail of it. And then she remembered what he so often said to her while she was growing up: “Listen!” So, she listened really hard and began to understand that daddy feels insecure in her world! He is unsure of how to cope with the fact that she is now an adult with a family of my own and a lifestyle of her own choosing. She listens to him talking about his latest Internet discovery and recognizes that he now feels that this is the only common ground that they have. She came to the understanding that it isn’t only with our ears that we are able to listen.

Do you have loved ones who, inexplicably, seem to no longer “fit in” with your lifestyle, and who seem to be going out of their way to strike poison arrows into your heart with their every action?

Listen to them – it could be that they are merely trying to express their anxiety at the evolving roles that you are playing in each other’s lives. Thank goodness I listened, because otherwise I would have truly believe that my dad no longer wanted anything to do with me, which would have meant that I had not listened at all, and had not learned anything.

Author unknown. If anyone has a proprietary interest in this story please authenticate and I will be happy to credit, or remove, as the circumstances dictate.

Thanks to Simply Inspirational SimplyInspirational-owner@listbot.com